“My family began deteriorating. My parents separated. My mom went from a healthy, loving parent to an alcoholic who couldn’t care for herself. She disappeared, temporarily, and then forever. I accepted I would have to continue living in fear and shame.”
“I know you feel like there is no real right answer. I know the what-if’s seem paralyzing and all-consuming right now. You don’t need to justify your decision to anyone. They don’t pay your bills, sister!”
“A voice inside my head was telling me something was up. She wouldn’t eat and couldn’t roll over. The doctor said, ‘She has barely grown in 4 months.’ I felt a wave of grief. I knew I had to advocate for her.”
“I flagged him down and begged him to get out of the car. He could barely talk. He didn’t make sense. What if he had made it onto the main road? I sat out on the back swing, contemplating what I would say to him. How would I say it? Would I leave? Would he ever change?”
“I was in tears during every evaluation. ‘How dare she put labels on him!’ I’m not sure if I was ignorant or in denial. Maybe both. I’ve watched his brother surpass him, and it stings.”
“People ask, ‘What did she say?’ My response is usually, ‘I have no idea.’ Her voice whispers in my mind: ‘I’m not in my words, you won’t find me in what I say.’ It’s surprising how little it all matters.”
“The Strong Black woman stereotype implies we are strong, which should be a good thing, but it often isn’t so.”
“My mom and dad were still married. For the next few months, I kept my mom’s secret. It killed me inside. Then, one day, my dad looked at me, nervously turning a beer in his hand around in circles. ‘He’s my boyfriend, you know?’ My jaw hit the floor.”
“He lied to me more than once. He talked about his ex-wife regularly, and he attacked and criticized my feelings. But at that point, we were already in love. My friend then told me, ‘I just described your boyfriend.’ Talk about a mic drop.”
“Shock took my breath away and the words right out of my mouth. I believed I had only months left until life as we knew it would be tragically veered off course, to a new life of health issues and missed opportunities. I ruined my life.”
