Dear Mom Shamers: Looks Don’t Determine If I’m A Good Mom

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“To the mom shamer cashier who very indiscreetly told me that I should have my 3-year-old checked for ADHD, was it him that you had a problem or was it me?

I know I don’t fit society’s standards of what a mom is ‘supposed’ to look like but believe me, the way I dress or the color of my hair does NOT negatively affect my ability to parent my child.

I get it… I live in a small town now. I see the looks and I hear the whispers.

Here’s the thing, I wore crop tops and short skirts before becoming a mother, so why should I stop now?

Our uniqueness and diversity are what make this world beautiful and interesting.

Mom with short, blue hair wearing matching crop top and biker shorts defying society standards of how mom should look and dress
Courtesy of Carla Jorgens

Some of you probably think that it wasn’t about me at all and that I’m being triggered and maybe you’re right.

But enough is enough.

Let moms dress, look, speak and express themselves the way they want.

And if it was based on my kid’s behavior, then hear me out loud and clear:


I expect to have this conversation with his family, teachers, and/or pediatrician, NOT a disgruntled cashier in front of a crowd of people.

Rant over.”

Son giving a thumbs up next to Mom with short, blue hair defying society standards of how mom should look and dress
Courtesy of Carla Jorgens

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Carla Jorgens. You can follow her journey on Instagram. Join the Love What Matters family and subscribe to our newsletter.

Read more stories like this:

‘Don’t show your butt like that. You’re a mother.’ I WANT my kids to see a body positive mom.’: Woman mom-shamed after ‘rocking’ a bikini, ‘every woman deserves to feel comfortable in her own skin’

Don’t Worry What Others Say About You—What You Say To Yourself Is Far More Powerful Than Anything They Could Throw Your Way

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