“I don’t know if you’ll remember these precious days of being little.
But I’ll remember.
For a moment in time…
I was the breakfast maker, still in my pajamas.
I was the picnic planner on warmer days.
I was the one who got to play with you.
And the one who said ‘a little later’ more than a little too often.
But I also sat in the audience and watched your brilliant imagination take flight.
You were the puppeteer.
And the actor.
You were the singer and dancer, too.
But I got to be your partner in song and dance — I made the music with you.
I was the healer of the ouchies.
And the one you could run to.
The one who made everything better.
I was the teacher.
I read the stories and taught you to paint and helped you find your curiosity.
But even still, you were my teacher, too.
You taught me how to rediscover the magic in my life.
I was the one who got to relive childhood joys with you, in favorite movies and games and songs.
And always, always, always…I was the mama.
The most important role of all.
I know I’ll remember how much I worried.
Will you stay safe?
Are we doing the right things?
Making the best choices?
Do you know how much we love you?
But I hope you’ll remember the adventure, never the worry.
How we made discoveries and climbed dirt mountains and laughed from the belly…just in our own backyard.
And I hope you’ll remember that sometimes we hit the road or the sky instead, and we went wherever the wind might take us.
You were still so little then, and other things rarely got in the way of just living.
I hope you’ll remember learning about the world.
I’m sure you’ll look back and see the hard truth…that the world can just fall apart.
But maybe, just maybe, you’ll see evidence by then…that the world can also join together.
I pray it can.
That it’s possible.
Because it matters more than almost anything.
I hope you’ll remember how we blasted the music and danced in the kitchen.
Sometimes there was no music at all. And still, we danced.
I hope you’ll remember you were happy.
And I was happy.
We were all happy just being together.
And I hope you’ll remember that you were my everything — safely tucked in at home, for a time.
And somehow I was your everything, too.
I’ll never believe I deserved it.
But it’s true…when I looked at you, it sparked life into your spirit.
It kindled a fire in your heart.
My attention was air to your lungs.
And my love, a balm to your soul.
The truth is, I know you may not remember any of this at all.
But I will.
And I’ll tell you this…
The next time you feel like being little again, inside your mama’s arms…
The next time the world goes quiet for a time, upside-down, or hateful…
The next time you need to remember that there’s still beauty and magic in this life…
Just walk inside these doors, sweet child.
And I promise you, there will be dancing.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Cassie Gottula Shaw. You can follow her journey on Facebook. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.
Read more from Cassie here:
‘Look at you, puttin’ on lipstick to go to the cemetery,’ my husband teased, whistling at me. I didn’t plan to see a living soul there.’: Woman realizes during quarantine, ‘Fear is no match for God’s love’
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