‘The highway patrol brazened my porch with hats perched over their hearts. ‘I’m so sorry ma’am. There is nothing left of him or the car.’: Widow navigates grief after losing husband in tragic car accident

More Stories like:

Disclaimer: This story contains details of grief and loss that may be upsetting to some.

“Where is God in Grief? It’s been one month. I’m still looking for him now…but he was there in the moment of death. Everywhere. He was there when the highway patrol brazened my porch with the death-defying ring of the doorbell, hats perched over their hearts, stating over and over, ‘I’m so sorry ma’am, he did not make it. There is nothing left of him or the car.’

widow crying during husband's funeral after tragic car accident
Chelsea Stevenson

He was there when the neighbors walking by ran to my hurled body on the porch and picked me up to carry me inside. He was there when friends dropped everything and drove from all over, spent thousands of dollars on standby, and barged through my door to hold me in their arms, as I shook and shuddered for my soulmate.

widow crying during husband's funeral at catholic church after tragic car accident
Chelsea Stevenson

He was there when the nurse wrote me and said he did not suffer nor had any pain; he was dead on impact. Being burned to death leaves some electrical activity on the EKG. He was there when the medical examiner handed me the two most symbolic pieces left of his life—his wedding band and St. Christopher’s Medal around his neck, marred and tangled in char, flesh, and plastic.

diseased husband's picture at funeral after deadly car accident
Chelsea Stevenson

He was there at the funeral home as we picked out a casket, urn, music, and every detail I had never asked nor wanted to know. He was there as hundreds and hundreds of people flew in from every part of our lives to celebrate the incredible human being my husband was. He was also there as a community of friends and family mourned an amazing soul, a giver of life, and a spirit you couldn’t contain.

widow holds hands of friends and family during husband's funeral at catholic church
Chelsea Stevenson
two man carrying casket during funeral with widow walking behind
Chelsea Stevenson

He was there as I wrote his eulogy, my final love letter, to keep his legacy and love alive. One month later, God is here. I can’t see Him. But I talk to Him. Better yet, I yell at Him. He sees my pain, my anguish, and my broken heart. He doesn’t have a place for it yet, or me, as He’s being silent as I spin. When I eventually go quiet, He will lift me. He will find me, and I will find Him. I have faith and I have hope because I believe. God is there in grief.”

widow crying over husband's caskets during funeral
Suzanne Henry
widow delivering Eulogy at husband's funeral at catholic church
Chelsea Stevenson

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Melissa Kurz of St. Augustine, Florida. Follow her journey on Instagram hereDo you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

Read more stories from Melissa here: 

‘My husband is out there on the front lines with nothing protecting him while the rest of the world is panicking and quarantining.’: Woman says pharmacies experiencing ‘loophole our government has missed’

‘She paused from petting and looked up at me, she said, ‘Can he pray with me?’ I said, ‘Of course.’: Woman says ‘therapy dogs are desperately waiting to hear the words, ‘It’s time for work’

Read more stories like this: 

‘One day, a handsome teacher messaged me. The word ‘widower’ glared up at me. To be honest, I was scared.’: Mom shares journey blending families, ‘This is what faith looks like’

‘Instead of saying, ‘Let me know if you need anything,’ just do something.’: Widow offers advice to those supporting a loved one through grief

Provide beauty and strength for others. SHARE this story on Facebook with friends and family.

For our best love stories, subscribe to our free email newsletter: