‘It was my 20-week scan and Ryan wasn’t allowed to come. ‘No FaceTime, no videos, and no pictures.’ My heart sank.’: Mom feels ‘robbed of moments during this pregnancy’

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“I had my first COVID pregnancy breakdown yesterday.

I have really tried to keep a positive perspective during this pregnancy and pandemic but yesterday I kind of hit a wall.

It was my 20-week scan and the third appointment my husband Ryan was not allowed to come to. My hopes were that I would be able to get pictures or videos for Ryan but the very first thing the nurse told me was, ‘No FaceTime, no videos, and no pictures.’

My heart kind of sank. She was apologetic and assured me she would give me ultrasound pictures to bring home and we started the scan. It was wonderful to see my baby girl and watch her move.

But I could barely even make it into my car before the tears were streaming down my cheeks.

Sometimes I feel like I have been robbed of moments during this pregnancy I should be able to share with Ryan, my family, and friends. There are disappointments, frustration, and sadness. And there are also hormones that make me even more emotional.

And while I truly believe staying positive is important, especially during these times, I think it is also important to acknowledge your feelings.

It is okay to feel sad, disappointed, etc. These are unprecedented times and a lot of unknown.

My heart feels so much for all the pregnant mamas — the ones delivering now or delivered during this pandemic, the mamas halfway through their pregnancy, the first time mamas, the mamas going into labor and delivery wondering how they are going to labor with a mask on, the anxious mamas, the newly pregnant mamas, all the mamas — I see you and am here with you in all the emotions.

For me, it is helpful to focus on my baby girl. She is healthy and growing, and that is the most important thing. This pregnancy has also been smooth and I will choose to rejoice in those things and celebrate my milestones as we are halfway there! And in those roller-coaster emotions, I will continue to remind myself I am not alone.”

Courtesy of Desiree Fortin

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Desiree Fortin of California. You can follow her journey as a mom of triplets on InstagramDo you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

Read more candid stories from this Desiree here:

‘My diamond was missing. GONE. Instant panic. My heart started racing, hands got clammy. I was sobbing.’: Son’s touching gesture for mommy who lost wedding ring diamond showed her so much ‘empathy’

‘SEX after kids. I can count on 2 hands the number of times we had sex the first year after the triplets were born. Okay, probably just 1 hand.’

‘You don’t just marry your spouse. There is always room for conflict when it comes to IN-LAWS.’

‘I remember our first marital therapy session vividly. I sat separated from Ryan and the tension between us felt so strong. We were two hurting people only hurting each other.’

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