“I had my first COVID pregnancy breakdown yesterday.
I have really tried to keep a positive perspective during this pregnancy and pandemic but yesterday I kind of hit a wall.
It was my 20-week scan and the third appointment my husband Ryan was not allowed to come to.
My hopes were that I would be able to get pictures or videos for Ryan, but the very first thing the nurse told me was, ‘No FaceTime, no videos, and no pictures.’
My heart kind of sank. She was apologetic and assured me she would give me ultrasound pictures to bring home and we started the scan. It was wonderful to see my baby girl and watch her move.
But I could barely even make it into my car before the tears were streaming down my cheeks.
Sometimes I feel like I have been robbed of moments during this pregnancy I should be able to share with Ryan, my family, and friends.
There are disappointments, frustration, and sadness. And there are also hormones that make me even more emotional.
And while I truly believe staying positive is important, especially during these times, I think it is also important to acknowledge your feelings.
It is okay to feel sad, disappointed, etc. These are unprecedented times and a lot of unknown.
My heart feels so much for all the pregnant mamas — the ones delivering now or delivered during this pandemic, the mamas halfway through their pregnancy, the first time mamas, the mamas going into labor and delivery wondering how they are going to labor with a mask on, the anxious mamas, the newly pregnant mamas, all the mamas — I see you and am here with you in all the emotions.
For me, it is helpful to focus on my baby girl. She is healthy and growing, and that is the most important thing.
This pregnancy has also been smooth and I will choose to rejoice in those things and celebrate my milestones as we are halfway there! And in those roller-coaster emotions, I will continue to remind myself I am not alone.”
Read more candid stories from Desiree here:
‘I finally got a pregnancy test. Told no one. Waited a few more days. Negative.’: Triplet mom left feeling ‘confused, excited, terrified’ after thinking her body was ‘actually working’ by missing period
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