I’m the best wife in the entire world. Yup, it’s true. What? What did you hear?
Did I have you fooled? Okay fine, I’m not the perfect wife as much as I want to be. I complain, I nag, I expect my husband to read my mind, and I stink at the whole letting him make his own decisions thing… but I’m working on it. Based on the things I’ve learned, from what I’m good at and what I’m not so good at, I’ve come up with a list of ways to be a better wife to my hubby. I hope you enjoy!
Don’t Complain About Him
This one is hard for some wives, but complaining about your husband to others is the ultimate slap in the face to your hubby. If you’re in a fight and you feel like venting to your girlfriend, I’m all for getting a little irritation off your chest, but sum it up in a way that doesn’t air your husband’s dirty laundry. Chances are – you’re going to make up and you don’t want your family and friends to hold a grudge toward your husband for the things you should’ve kept private. Remember, you wouldn’t want your husband telling people your private grievances.
Ask Him For Help, Before You Get Mad
This one is hard for me. Instead of saying, “Oh darling, could you please take out the trash?” I often just continue to put trash in the overflowing bin, while simultaneously giving him death stares from across the room. I think about all the times I’ve taken out the trash and suddenly feel resentful and angry and ARRRGHHH!
“The trash is overflowing you know!” I shout from across the room as if he was obviously supposed to read my mind by now. “Oh, let me take that out for you babe.” “Oh… thanks.” I say, wondering why I didn’t just ask, before I got upset about it in my mind.
This is a scenario we can all relate to. Why can’t our men just anticipate our needs a bit more? Let me answer that for you… because they’re MEN. You will always have to coach them a bit. The sooner we understand this, the sooner we can stop getting mad at them for not reading our minds. Just ask them before the irritation grows. Trust me, it’s much easier.
Thank Him For His Hard Work
As much as we like to be told what a good job we are doing, our men like to be praised too. I know my husband appreciates me taking care of the house and the kids all day – because he tells me. I know he would have a hard time doing my job every single day, just as I would have a hard time doing his job. I’m grateful for the way he provides and for all of his hard work, so I make sure to tell him. Even if you feel like your man isn’t doing his best, I promise you, it won’t make him want to work harder if you continually talk down to him. Make him feel good about taking care of you and he will want to. Everyone, men and women alike, need to hear words of affirmation once in a while. It feels good.
Focus On His Good Qualities
EVERYONE has flaws. Sometimes, if I’m particularly irritated about something my hubby does, I try to think of a quality of mine I’m not so fond of. It makes it easier for me to let go of his little grievances toward me if I remember how level that playing field is. (Did I just use a sport’s reference correctly?) If that doesn’t help, then remember your man may leave his socks on the floor or his dirty dishes right next to the sink (yes, right NEXT to the sink), but there are other husbands out there who have much bigger flaws. Would you rather have a guy who’s unfaithful or has an issue with gambling away his paychecks? I didn’t think so.
Focus on his good qualities, like the time he carried you over the puddle during your date night out, picked up flowers when your cat died, or came home from a 12-hour day and did all the dirty dishes because you were majorly PMSing. (It may have been a result of fear, but it was still appreciated.) If that doesn’t work, then remember all the things God has forgiven you for. That should make it easier to extend some grace to your hubby for forgetting to pick up milk.
This one is hard for me for some reason. I’m great about being nurturing, but I’m terrible at showing affection. I don’t mind holding hands, but for some reason I forget to show much more physical attention than that. I’m not a very “touchy feely” person. I suppose I am when it comes to my kids, but they grow up so fast it’s hard not to want to cuddle them all day long!
Men LOVE when you stroke their hair, rub their shoulders, or touch them in little ways like that. Maybe it’s because every time I show affection, he wants to immediately spend some “time alone,” if you know what I mean. It’s something I’m working on – nonetheless. Try to show physical attention to your husband; in my opinion, it’s one of the number one things that make them feel loved.
Marriage is hard, but remember, love is in the details. Little things go a long way to make your marriage better. If you put in a little extra effort, he will too. You may have to tell him to… BUT, eventually he will put in a little extra effort too!
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Christi Cazin. You can follow her journey on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and her website. You can also purchase her book on Amazon. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
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