Julie Scagell

I’m a full-time freelance writer and have been published on The Washington Post, McSweeney’s, Scary Mommy, Huffington Post, and Disney (among others).

‘I will never forgive you.’ We filed her as a missing person when she didn’t come home. I felt like I’d failed her.’: Mom shares candid reality of parenting a child with mental illness

“Our number one job as parents was to keep her safe, and we could no longer do that at home. There were rumors. I knew people were talking. Having a daughter with mental illness is not like having a child in the hospital with the flu or a broken bone. There were no lasagnas brought by concerned friends. No one knows what to say. It’s lonely and terrifying.”

‘My 16-year-old was upset over a fight with a friend. It turns out this friend has been making her feel ‘less than’ for months.’: One mom’s approach to ‘listening’ vs. ‘action’ conversations helped relationship with teens

“What I’ve learned after trying it for a couple of months is that it’s much harder for me to shut up and not shove my opinion down their throats or try to solve their problems for them than I thought. I figured they’d be the ones unable to play by the ground rules, but it was a big lesson for me as well.”

‘I’m sorry!!!’ I know you are. ‘Daddy is going to be so mad!!! I’m not ready to tell him yet.’ That is OK. When you’re ready, you’ll tell him.’: Mom’s viral post strikes debate on how to punish kids

“Our girls were messing around. One of them put their body through the drywall. My 9-year-old came downstairs crying and frantic saying she had to show me something. I walked upstairs to the damaged wall. The remorse was already displayed all over her body. She didn’t need me to make her feel guilty. She didn’t need me to shame her.”

‘I was doing her laundry FOR her. She was watching me fold her thong underwear. She just stood there holding the baby! This is ridiculous.’: Mom urges others to remember helping means doing so with ‘no strings attached’

“I was sitting at a coffee shop and overheard (I was eavesdropping) two women behind me. One was complaining about her daughter-in-law who’d just given birth to her grandchild. ‘I offered to help, but this ridiculous!’ she said. Here’s the thing. I’ve learned if we really want to help, we just show up. We ring their doorbell and start unloading their dishwasher or play with their kid while they take a shower. We shove a lasagna in the oven so they don’t have to think about dinner.”

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