LJ Herman is a former editor at Love What Matters and lives in Colorado. LJ is a concert, ticket and technology enthusiast. He has seen the Dave Mathews Band over one hundred times and counting.
‘Your kids need a different outfit for every holiday. I’m not talking about a Christmas sweater. I’m talking about TurkeyTrot-PaperCutAwareness-Haunak-Mas day shirts.’: Mom’s hilarious rant on holidays will have you rolling
“Your kids will need a different coordinating outfit for each holiday, a gift for every teacher, a cookie swap, ornament-decorating party, your mother-in-law’s eggnog recipe and a tasteful dress for yourself. Not to mention the avalanche of toys that’s about to descend on your house, try and look grateful. Seriously though.”
‘I no want it.’ I was getting her ready for Grandparent’s Day and pulled out a precious dress to wear.’: Mom comes to terms with daughter’s preferences, ‘Who am I to say what’s right?’
“Audrey grabbed the hem of the dress and was shaking her head, ‘I no want it.’ Shocked, I questioned, ‘What do you mean you don’t want it? Of course you want this! It’s adorable!’ It was a corduroy dress with a collar and hot pink trim, what’s not to love? I am Southern, after all. ‘I no want it.’ I took a deep breath, and a step back.”
My Child Punched The School Bully, And I Rewarded Him With Ice Cream
“‘I told him to stop! He pushed him again. So I punched him, hard.’ It is my job as his parent not to stomp out his fire, but to teach him to use it for good.”
‘I am grateful for girlfriends. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize you are my heroes.’: Woman thanks her ‘tribe’ of best friends who help deal with the ‘real stuff’
“I just freaking love you. Honestly, I didn’t really ‘get it’ until my 30’s; until the dramas of life started to be really critical. Lifetime level heartbreaks, pregnancies, cancers, divorces, careers, health, death. The real stuff. The real real.”
‘Heaven forbid we decide to play hooky to visit Santa before our holiday break officially begins.’: Witty mom admits parenting isn’t at all what she imagined, ‘We haven’t breached the truancy threshold just yet’
“I imagined sipping Arnold Palmers on the deck, casually thumbed through the newspaper we would obviously be mature enough to have delivered by then. What I did NOT imagine was me at 5:14 a.m., shushing children from my bedroom, shouting, ‘IN THIS FAMILY, CHILDREN DO NOT GET UP BEFORE 6!’ and shoving a small corner of my pillowcase in my ear. I think we can all agree that raising children isn’t exactly how we pictured it.”
‘A lot of us don’t got good Christmas memories. My mom couldn’t afford presents, or was too drunk.’: Woman who worked with troubled youth struggles with holiday traditions after hearing their hardships
“I tried to make a big deal out of Christmas in a very middle-American-ignorant-white-girl kind of way. ‘Let’s decorate the tree! Let’s make Christmas cookies! Kids need presents!’ To my WASPY surprise, this wasn’t well received. Confused, I asked him about it. ‘Is this another one of my white girl questions you guys tease me about?’”
Dear Friends, Don’t Wait Until The Perfect Time—Just Show Up
“I got the call at 6 p.m., left my kids with my husband, and drove the 15 minutes to her house with my socks beautifully crammed into my Birkenstocks. When your friend’s husband dies unexpectedly, when she has a baby, when she is going through a divorce, she doesn’t care if you baked the cookies from scratch and perfectly placed them on a platter.”
‘She’s conceited. She needs to get over herself. Felicia. Felicia. Felicia.’: Woman insists we ‘get lost in crushing goals and proving others wrong’ that instead we ‘crush ourselves’
“Someone judged me for not being at the same job for years like they have been. Another judged me for not getting a 4-year degree when I was supposed to, before 25. I’ve been judged for being overweight. They made me feel so pathetic that I couldn’t find one reason to like myself. I didn’t meet that person’s standards, let alone the world’s standards.”
‘No Jessica, YOU are his mom. I only carried him.’ I became a mom in a courtroom.’: Woman ‘forever grateful’ for bio mom who made her a mother, ‘My son didn’t to my heartbeat from inside my womb, but he’s laid on my chest every day since 3 days old’
“Walking in the courtroom, there were 12 other families waiting with the same excitement. Some with matching shirts, letterboards, signs, all to commemorate their special day. The judge, dressed as Woody from Toy Story, walks in to officially kick off the festivities. ‘You understand this is a permanent proceeding. He would be yours as if he were born to you?,’ he asked. I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer.”
‘I never let go. If I hold on tight enough, I cannot get hurt. If I dig in deep enough, everything will work out.’: Mom learns to ‘let go’ of micromanaging family, we have to ‘trust in ourselves’
“Whenever I feel anxious, I feel the urge to micromanage my family. Whenever I feel a sense of uncertainty, I feel the need to force things. I’m letting go. I’m not holding on. I’m enjoying this ride no matter what direction it takes me or how long it lasts.”