“If I didn’t make a major change, I was going to kill myself — one bite of food at a time. I’d tried everything short of having an eating disorder and had no hope. ‘How was your surgery? Oh, you lost weight, how did you do it? You took the EASY way out.’ That last comment is one that hurts me. It hurt me then and it hurts me now.”
“We tried to enjoy a weekend getaway. We could barely go out in public with our son, but we still proceeded with a dolphin show for our daughter’s sake. An elderly lady passing by was so startled, we thought she might need her smelling salts. The look of disgust and judgement was evident on her face. The rage inside me boiled over. I immediately went into full-blown ‘fight or flight’ mama bear mode.”
“We were told, ‘Her numbers look good on paper, but she won’t survive.’ The cold sore virus spread. She’d never leave the hospital alive. Before they turned off all the love-sustaining machines, I said goodbye to my first and only child. I watched as she struggled to breathe and turned blue in my arms. All I could do was hold her tightly, and cry. I watched her last breath. I died with her.”
“Lucy came downstairs one night to ask if her ‘nipples should be sore.’ I instantly realized puberty was around the corner. She told her dad, who was sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME, that she needed bras. I, the one with breasts, was right there! Fast forward to Target. I explained to my boys Lucy needed some plain bras. They were shocked. ‘What are bras for? She doesn’t look different. Why does she need them? Is she starting puberty?’ By taking them, the stigma was already GONE.”
“I was caught off guard. ‘Why don’t you give him a sibling or a dog to play with instead of a doll?’ There’s no reason my son can’t play with babies or dolls or anything deemed ‘too girly.’ Why? Because one day, my son may choose to become a father. You’re not going to tell your adult son he’s too ‘manly’ to change his newborn child’s diaper, are you?! Doubt it.”
“He was born just like any other baby. Until his biological mother or father had ‘shaken’ him. We were told he may never walk, talk, eat, see, or hear, and would have to be spoon fed for the rest of his life. People often ask why his skin is so dark. We get so many dirty looks. But we don’t care. We’re just so happy to give him a safe and loving home.”
“I heard our bedroom door shut. I thought you were just going to shower. Your body hit the floor. You were struggling. I tried to kick it in. ‘How the hell do people do this?!’ I ran downstairs and knocked on the neighbors’ doors. They didn’t answer. I was terrified. Before I could even react, EMTs were rushing upstairs. They put the flag over you.”
“At 8 years old, my pediatrician said, ‘You need to eat more salad.’ My eating disorder started to spin out of control. ‘I’m sorry my body terrifies you, it’s healthy. I refuse to hide because I’m larger than you’d like.'”
“I didn’t get any more details than that. I hung up, flew out the door. ‘Who are you here to see?’ the ER receptionist said to me. The girl beside her hit her on the arm. ‘She is THAT baby’s mom!’ She then asked for my insurance card. ‘Please, I need to see my baby!’ Before I walked through the door, I thought I heard a baby cry. I thought I had more time.”
“21-year-old me would have fallen over dead at the very idea of another woman marrying the love of my life. Oopsie. That was a tiny bit crazy.”
