“I thought marriage would be the end of all my problems. 6 months into my sobriety, we found out we were having a baby. I quickly got addicted to my painkillers and stopped breastfeeding 4 weeks in. ‘Your life will never get better. Just end it.’ I sat there and cried with a shotgun in hand. I was taken away in an ambulance while my son slept in the next room. I went from being the middle class, church going, straight As, lead in in musicals, student council member to prison time.”
“For a while, this actually worked. I posted more freely; comfortable in stating my true heart, sharing my real struggles and joys without the shackles of the judgement they would surely throw my way. I did not feel the urge to edit or tip toe. I didn’t censor what was truly felt, even knowing it may help someone else, for the sake of possibly ‘pleasing’ these two. Or even for the sake of them not saying anything at all. I was freed.”
“My mom always reminded me she LOVED being a mother. She’d follow with, ‘But there’s just something SO SPECIAL about being a grandma!’ I drove home crying, thinking of all the times I harped at her for giving the kids too many sweets, or letting them stay up too late, or doing anything that grandparents do. What I would give to go back to those moments and soak them up instead of roll my eyes.”
“I’m tired of carrying pepper spray. I’m tired of clinging to my cup at parties like some wild animal out of fear of getting roofied, again. I’m tired of school dress codes. No, my shoulders are not sexy or distracting. I’m tired of women covering their bruises with makeup before work. Y’all, I am TIRED.”
“My friend invited me to a local nightclub. Before I knew it, I was dancing with someone and their hands were rubbing up and down my back. He whispered in my ear, ‘Are you wearing a corset?’ That scared the absolute life out of me. It was my scars, once a gaping hole through my back, and he could feel them through my clothing.”
“The truth is, I resent being a disciplinarian, even though I know it’s good and right. So today, I gave myself the luxury of picking my battles. And to be honest, it was freaking amazing. Chill a little, mamas. The kids are alright.”
“I immediately started to ugly cry and told the principal, ‘You just don’t understand! You just don’t know what we’ve been through to get to this place!’”
“I did what I had to do, which meant dragging my exhausted toddler on the subway, letting him sleep on me, then carrying him 8 blocks, all while wearing a full suit on the hottest day in history. I was literally dripping with sweat. We’re doing what we can to survive.”
“Within a minute, a female Busch Gardens employee approached me and told me I could not breastfeed my child. Doing so would be offensive to park patrons, and I would have to move.”
“He threatened divorce if I didn’t quit my job. Eventually, he left. As we began the divorce process, the first serious boyfriend I had re-entered my life. There was a restraining order in place to keep myself safe. Things got worse. I never thought about my cell phone bill I shared with him. He took it upon himself to call every person I talked to. He found out about my said first boyfriend and lost it.”
