“I worried about his aggressive outbursts. Earlier that day, I was talking with a friend who was working through her anxiety about leaving her family every shift to work in the NICU. Her anxiety was real. Mine was selfish and unplaced. I was disappointed in myself that I wasn’t able to handle things better for Jack that day, or with my spouse.”
“Like everyone else I know, I’ve been practicing social distancing for 3 weeks now. But just over a week ago, I found myself in the Emergency Room. The one place that would put me most at risk of exposure. I’d been avoiding the grocery store, let alone an ER.”
“We’ll miss staying in our PJs, playing old-fashioned games, enjoying dance parties, and baking 5 batches of cookies. When the house is empty one day, I know I’ll give anything to go back to the days when your fingerprints were all over the front glass door, the floors were sticky, and your presence was right within my reach.”
“Just the other day, I found myself admitting to another mom I’m not sure we would have chosen to have more kids had we known of the diagnosis before getting pregnant. The second the words came out of my mouth, I regretted it. He is showing her his love by letting her in his bubble, despite how painful it is for him.”
“My husband works long hours at our local hospital. I haven’t seen another human being besides my stir-crazy toddlers in a long time. Before I knew it, I had comfort food, a bottle of wine, and two very missed faces on my lawn. They only stayed a few minutes and well over 6 feet away, but those few minutes gave me what I desperately needed to continue moving forward.”
“Today it was officially announced that the traditional academic school year is over. Students will not return to classrooms. Schools are closed indefinitely. Our son will not walk back into his kindergarten class. I know this is the right thing, but I also know this is hard.”
“What kind of horrible person am I? I was begging my husband to just get me out of there! ‘It’s going to be a joy like you’ve never felt.’ Instead I was frozen with fear. I was hemorrhaging. I was still searching her face for the joy I was supposed to be feeling. I felt guilty and ashamed.”
“I waited for seven days. I bled all weekend, thinking for sure I miscarried. ‘But, it’s in your tube.’ she said. No need to sugarcoat that part. I could die if this wasn’t taken care of right away. My doctor is pro-life and if he could save a baby and a mother, he would.”
“Meanwhile, in an alternate universe, moms everywhere are having a field day with their perfectly color-coordinated school sessions and craft projects. People are using this time to get fit, eat better, organize their homes and closets. Crossing off line items on their to-do lists like it’s their job – and then there is me.”
“I want you to remember this, because years from now, a lifetime from now, when we’re leaving somewhere, saying goodbye, when I’m hugging you tight and tighter still, and we both laugh, and yet I don’t let go—you will know why.”
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