“I have to say ‘see you later’ to my husband soon and my heart is broken. We have been preparing for this awful day. I have my spouse wear a sweatshirt every day for a week before he leaves so when I’m lying in bed bawling, I can at least have his scent to give me a small amount of sanity. Your husband’s 3-day business trip is not a comparison, but I’m still sad to see you without him. Because it does suck and I won’t judge you.”
“I waited until the next morning and then went back to the motel room, terrified, but worked up the guts to knock on the door – no response. I then make my way to the front office and the clerk tells me, ‘Ma’am, room 135 has already checked out.’ I start crying hysterically.”
“‘What’s wrong?’ My heart drops. ‘I can’t see anything anymore!’ I feel sick, but tell myself I have to stay focused and calm for my son because he is neither of those things. He’s now stomping around the house, pounding on the table. It all happened so fast. From fine to not in just a few minutes.”
“The nurse looked right at me. I knew our time was getting short. As she started getting weaker, I picked her up and carried her to bed. The hospice nurse told me to start talking to her, and not stop. ‘I love you. I love you so much. Thank you for being in my life,’ I kept telling her over and over. I wish I said more that evening. I only made 2 calls that night.”
“It’s hard on her. She is a Daddy’s girl through and through. And it’s hard on Daddy too. He came to me last night at 10:30 holding his phone, concern in his eyes. ‘They want to know if I’ll come in tomorrow. I don’t know what to say. Tell me what you think I should do,’ he pleaded. ‘Honey, I can’t make that decision for you,’ I replied.”
“I’ve put a grandfather on a ventilator who couldn’t breathe. I’ve held a newborn with fever while the doctor does a lumbar puncture. I’ve put the final drape over a mother-of-3’s face after she beat breast cancer, but died of the flu. I did all of this knowing full well it was preventable. We had the ability to save those people as a society, and we failed.”
“We vacuum when he’s not home, use the blender in the garage and I can’t blow dry my hair unless he’s asleep. Once he sees the appliance, it’s an instant tantrum. Truth be told, I’m scared. Scared he’ll be bullied for being different. I’m so, so, terrified of that. ‘Is he going to live a ‘normal’ life? Will he get married, have kids?’ I still feel broken at times.”
“Last night I got asked if I wanted a medal for looking after my own kids. I was told I should let my wife go out more than once in a year. I got labeled as someone they’re ‘glad they’re not with’ because they get to go out every week on their own for ‘me time.’”
“He was nowhere to be found. I grabbed the house phone and realized the telephone cable was pulled from the jack. I started to get worried. He finally called, he was on his way home. ‘My friend needed to borrow some money. I went to the bank to withdraw $200 for him.’ Something wasn’t right. I checked the last 5 numbers dialed. One of them I didn’t recognize, so I called it back. It was a woman.”
“Gavin came home from work complaining he wasn’t feeling well. I brushed it off thinking he had the flu. ‘I want to go lay down.’ He then called my name. ‘I think I need to go to the hospital and get checked out.’ I started down the hallway with him in front of me when he passed out. My mind raced the whole way to the hospital. I knew this was serious. After the doctor’s questioned him, he finally confessed. As soon as they walked out, I knew it wasn’t good. ‘We’re so sorry. His body was too weak.’”
