“Time slowed. She had just been laughing and joking on the way home. By the time I got to the hospital, she was nearly unrecognizable. Over the next 5 days, she went in and out of consciousness.”
‘My mom called, softly crying. ‘I took a lot of pills. I love you. It’s not your fault.’ I screamed into the phone, trying to keep her awake until the paramedics reached her.’
‘He should get his affairs in order.’ My heart stopped. WHAT? I immediately broke down. My biggest fear and worst nightmare had come true. ‘I don’t want to put you all through this,’ he said.’
“I was at home when I got a call from my husband. He was at the hospital, and then he said the 4 words I never expected to hear. ‘Okay, what now? What do we do?’ I was furiously texting my mother-in-law, ‘It’s not good.’ I just wanted it to stop. I couldn’t believe what was happening.”
‘I went to a play date at someone’s house. Almost the moment I stepped through the front door, the mom giggled, ‘Mimosa time!’ and my body froze up.’
“I wasn’t prepared for this. I was so caught off guard, I probably looked like a deer in headlights.”
‘I received a random card with a note. ‘I pray for you every day.’ My job is very hard to do. People don’t understand that. Special education is a totally different ball game.’
“My students come into the classroom yelling, hitting, kicking, and screaming. Many people assume we do the work for our kids because they think they can’t do it themselves. Not everyone is cut out for this kind of classroom.”
‘I went into my son’s room to wake him. I could sense something wasn’t right. I remember the pallor of his face as I turned him over. Grey. Porcelain.’
“I screamed my husband’s name. ‘His stomach is warm!,’ I said out loud. I fell over my baby’s body. Air escaped his throat in a tiny wheeze that sounds like a coo. ‘He made a noise!’ Their faces fell. ‘It’s from the CPR.’ ‘It happens.’ They were trying not to fall apart.”
‘There I was, crying over my newborn daughter, looking at my husband’s arm around another woman. I begged him to talk to me in person. He never called, never texted. My world flipped.’
“I had done everything right. The last 4 years were wiped away without reason. My mind kept replaying every situation over and over again. Not only was I going to school, working, and dealing with my parents’ divorce, but I was now about to be a single mom. I prayed for a sign I’d be okay.”
‘I don’t have a mother.’ ‘Baby, everyone has a mother.’ ‘When you were born, your birth mother asked if WE could be your daddy and papa!’ She searched for people to love you with all their heart.’
“A few more days went by and we figured we had finished that conversation until she asked the heaviest question of all, ‘Who is my birth mother?’ We looked at each other and quickly changed the subject.”
‘School is hard for my daughter who has never made less than an ‘A.’ She practices and prints off extra homework. The thought of failure invokes panic in her busy little mind.’
“I have one child who has brought home a handful of awards year after year, and another who faithfully collects his lone participation certificate. His best will never look like scholar of the year. But success looks different on every child.”
‘If I was so miserable, I should leave.’ Eventually, I did. Our marriage looked perfect on social media. We always believed in keeping our issues private.’
“Our wedding day was intimate. But behind the façade were underlying issues that left a bad taste in my mouth. I was put on the back burner. I was failing him because he was expecting me to prepare a home-cooked meal every day while also juggling maintaining a home and breastfeeding our son.”
‘I love you, sweetie. I’ll call you Friday.’ Those words will forever haunt me. I received a call from my mom when school ended. ‘This is the hardest thing I’ll ever tell you.’ I fell to the floor.’
“My heart sank. I could tell by her voice I had to get home. I still hear the words as she fought back breaking down. ‘We have to go. We have to get there!’ I remember having thought, ‘He seems better. He seems more like himself.’ My dad was back. Boy, was I wrong.”
