‘Cookies are not breakfast!’ They’re all crying. One fights me for 10 minutes to allow me the pleasure of wiping poop off his arse.’: Dad hilariously says ‘I’ve had a huge slice of humble pie’ after first ‘paternity leave’

“I hide for a bit. They find me like they’re sniffer dogs and I’m selling pills at a festival. I clear up the crafts, wishing whoever created slime a slow, gruesome death. They’re all crying now. They scream, ‘Daddy we’re bored of this film!’ repeatedly and very loudly.”

‘YOU’RE going to run? Your boobs are going to hit your face.’ I went to see a plastic surgeon at 16.’: Woman overcomes years of negative self image, ‘If you’re not feeling good on the inside, you’ll never feel good on the outside’

“I was told by my boyfriend, ‘You need to stop being mean to everyone just because you’re in a bad mood.’ I moved out with no money, no job, and no dog. Everyone who said, ‘We’re still your friend and we love you no matter what,’ didn’t stick around.”

‘I took out the trash to ‘investigate’ our new neighbors. We watched the dreaded moving truck from the second-story window.’: Two moms find new friendship during quarantine

“While I was loading my kids into our car, the other kids made eye contact. They stood there, silently staring like it was some sort of old western stare-off. The dreaded moving truck was parked outside. In a matter of a month, our children’s childhood changed for the better.”

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