“I had sent in my application and a few weeks later, my mom called me to tell me there was an envelope in the mail for me. Not knowing what it was, I told her to go ahead and open it. I was no longer living a secret life. I could be free with my mom now, or so I thought… When others started learning about my conversion, they’d put bad thoughts into my mom’s head.”
“This wasn’t a short, little exchange.”
“By the time the helicopter arrived, conditions were too dangerous. I assumed we would be rushed, lights blazing and sirens blasting to the next hospital. I kept asking when a doctor would get around to me. A resident finally came in. His face immediately gave him away.”
“They plopped her on my tummy, facing her daddy. I cried the happiest tears. But, my husband looked at me with the most concerned look on his face. He knew.”
“Something about his behavior didn’t feel right, but it was hard to explain. Soon, every time we received a well-intended compliment about his intelligence, it felt like a knife was being twisted further into my stomach.”
“What do I do, I wondered? I inhaled deeply, trying to see if she still smelled of flowers and herbs de Provence and soap like I remembered. I was contemplating reaching out to touch the back of her down coat, when she suddenly turned around and we were face to face.”
“My parents started calling every recent number, desperately searching for their child. When someone finally answered, they laughed and taunted my dad when he said he was looking for his son. They LAUGHED.”
“In a previous life, with a previous partner, in a different country and a different decade, I was pregnant. I was pregnant for 10 weeks. But it was 10 weeks of feeling pregnant, of feeling hopeful, feeling excited, but also feeling cautious. And I was right to be cautious. I was given a due date, which we never got to.”
“I told him, ‘You need to get up. Someone is at the door and they’re yelling ‘save me.’ His eyes widened and he looked at me like, ‘What?’ I said, ‘Someone is trying to break in!!’”
“She died alone is what we are supposed to think. She did this to herself. We are not to blame. After 3 months we finally have a reason for her death.”
