‘I love my kids fiercely and love being a mom. But that doesn’t mean I have to love parenting.’: Mom urges others to listen instead of telling moms how to feel

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“People ask me sometimes how I juggle all the things.

They ask me how I manage to work from home and take care of two kids at the same time.

The truth is… I don’t.
I’m a hot mess 95% of the time.

I cry.
I scream and yell.
I am exhausted.
I leave laundry in the washer for days.
I push myself too hard.
I put too much on my plate.
I forget to eat sometimes.
I worry.

This time in my life, while my kids are small, and I don’t have a choice but to work, is damn hard.

Don’t tell me I’m so blessed to have happy, healthy kids.
Don’t tell me to enjoy it while I can.
Don’t tell me to cherish every second now, even the bad ones, because I’ll miss them some day.
Don’t tell me to stop complaining because I am lucky to be a mother.

I know all those things.
Trust me, I’m well aware.

Telling me those things isn’t going to make me feel better, it’s going to make me feel ashamed. It’s going to make me feel guilty and inadequate.

I love my kids fiercely and I love being a mom.
But that doesn’t mean I have to love parenting.

I’m allowed to feel all the things.
I’m allowed to vent and express my frustrations.
I’m allowed to say when I’m not okay.

As a society, we need to start validating and supporting moms when they feel overwhelmed instead of telling them to choke their feelings down, plaster on a smile, and be positive.

In fact, let’s stop telling moms how they should be feeling altogether because motherhood isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ experience.

My life might be a hot mess 95% of the time.

I might cry.
I might yell.
I might be exhausted.
I might complain and vent.

But please don’t tell me it will be okay.
Don’t tell me everything will be fine.

Just listen.

Let me know my feelings are recognized and valid.
Let me know I’m not alone.
And sister, I promise to do the same for you.”

mother sits on a bed holding her daughter in her arms nuzzled to her chest
Courtesy of Mari Ebert

This story was submitted to Love What Matters  by Mari Ebert. You can follow her journey on  InstagramFacebook, and her websiteSubmit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

Read more from Mari here:

‘Sometimes, I don’t want to play with you.⁣ Not because I don’t love you. But because I’m exhausted.’: Mom says it’s OK to ‘press the pause button,’ take care of yourself

‘The world needs more good guys.’ I pray you never stop wanting to make this world a better place.’: Mom grateful for future generation, ‘full of hope and love’

‘Never wanting to leave this sleeping babe, but desperately needing to let my tears fall into the stream of a scalding hot shower.’: Mom shares ‘raw, unfiltered’ glimpse at motherhood

‘Today is a bad day, and that’s okay. The bad days aren’t every day.’: Mom shares encouraging message for overwhelmed parents

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