“I get asked a million times a day, ‘Mommy, can you play with me?’ Most of those times, I’ll gladly come sit next to you, pull you close, and play whatever your heart desires.
But not all the time. Sometimes, I don’t want to play with you. Not because I don’t love you. But because I’m exhausted. And I don’t have the energy to help Batman defeat the Joker today. And that’s okay.
Every night before we do bedtime kisses and say our prayers, you want to read at least ten books. You run to your bookshelf and carefully choose the ones you love the most. The ones we’ve read time and time again. The pages worn and wrinkled.
You crawl into my lap, I breathe in your hair, and we read. Then, you always say, ‘Mommy, please just one more!’
Most nights, I give in and read one more. I always save the best for last. But not every night. Some nights, I don’t want to read one more.
Because I’m desperate for you to crawl in bed so I can finally sit down, in silence, and take care of myself for the first time all day. And that’s okay.
Most days, I want to do all of the things. I’m eager to play, and go on adventures, and help, and make snacks, and watch when you say, ‘Mommy, watch!’
I know you’ll only be little for so long, and one day, I’ll be desperately longing for you to ask me these questions just one more time. But not every day.
Some days, I just need a break. I need a moment to breathe. I need a moment to myself.
It doesn’t mean I don’t love you with every fiber of my being. It doesn’t make me a bad mother. It doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy and cherish every day I have to spend with you on this Earth.
It just means every now and again, Mommy needs to press the pause button. And that’s okay.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Mari Ebert. You can follow her journey on Instagram, Facebook, and her website. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
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