‘Never wanting to leave this sleeping babe, but desperately needing to let my tears fall into the stream of a scalding hot shower.’: Mom shares ‘raw, unfiltered’ glimpse at motherhood

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“This is motherhood.

Raw, unfiltered, and real.

Lack of sleep visible in the heavy bags beneath my eyes that carry the weight of my exhaustion, fear, and worry.

Unwashed hair, two day old pajamas, and an unmade bed.

Endless lists of all the motherly things clicking monotonously through my mind like an old school film projector.

A sick child resting their head upon my chest, hair damp and skin warm, comforted only by the feel of my hand on their back – rhythmically rubbing and hoping to quell the remnants of the cries that wracked their body not long ago.

Consuming love so strong it almost takes my breath away.

Trying to muster the energy needed to get through the day while simultaneously surrendering to the sleep that threatens to wash over me if I let my eyes close for only a second.

Torn between never wanting to unwrap my arms from this beautiful sleeping babe and desperately needing to let my tears fall into the stream of a scalding hot shower as I scrub my body and mind clean of all the impurities that hold them captive.

Raw, unfiltered, and real.
Primal and passive.
Unashamed and bare.

This is motherhood.”

tired looking mother lays with her daughter on her chest while the girl is sleeping peacefully
Courtesy of Mari Ebert

This story was submitted to Love What Matters  by Mari Ebert. You can follow her journey on  InstagramFacebook, and her website. Submit your own story hereand be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

Read more from Mari here:

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