‘It’s confusing, this motherhood business. But it’s beautiful.’: Woman shares changes, new ‘states of being’ after becoming a mother

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“Motherhood has made me softer.
Softer around the middle,
And softer around my heart.

Motherhood has made me harder.
Harder to make plans with,
And harder to shake when the going gets tough.

Motherhood has made me rounder.
Quite literally rounder as my babies grew,
And round enough to roll with the punches.

Motherhood has made me sharper.
Sharper vision, with eyes in the back of my head,
And sharper focus on what matters most.

Motherhood has made me weaker.
Weaker when I give in to let them watch one more show,
And weak in the knees when the worry takes hold.

Motherhood has made me stronger.
Physically stronger from carrying toddlers up hills,
And stronger in my conviction.

Motherhood has made me slower.
Slower to get out the door in the morning,
And slower to judge another parent managing a public tantrum.

Motherhood has made me faster.
Faster out of necessity, because kids don’t stop,
And faster to judge myself at every turn.

Motherhood has made me dumber and smarter.
Fearless and fearful.
Playful and serious.
Forgiving, and foreboding, and forgetful.

I’ve been overwhelmed.
And underwhelmed.
And even just whelmed…

I’ve been happier.
And sadder.
And so full of joy my heart might jump right out of my chest.

It’s confusing, this motherhood business.
To live in a state of tension between opposite feelings and states of being.
To switch it on and on.
To be human when little people are expecting you to be superhuman.

But it’s beautiful, this motherhood business.
A business that has made me the strange being I am today.
Full of push and pull.
And even more convinced that in this big wide world of ours,
We’ll never need to be one thing.
We can be anything,
And everything.”

mother and father sitting in field with their two children, a daughter and son
Courtesy of Lyndsay Hannah Photography

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Becca Carnahan. You can follow her journey on  Instagram and her website. Submit your own story hereand be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

Read more from Becca here:

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