This Narrative Of The ‘Bad Mother’ Is So Overplayed, And It’s Time We Put An End To It

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“If a child misbehaves, it must be because the mom isn’t enforcing the rules.

If a child’s watching an iPad, the mom must be lazy and not want to deal with her kid.

If a child’s in a whirlwind of tears after her mom yelled at her, her mom doesn’t have enough patience to be a mother.

If a child’s eating candy at the grocery store, his mom must spoil him.

If a child gets into her mother’s lipstick and puts it all over her face, her mother should have been watching.

It doesn’t matter what happens.

It must be because of the ‘bad mother.’

And it’s unfair.

Moms love too much and try too hard for that narrative to be so overplayed.

Because the truth is,

maybe the mom, who wasn’t ‘watching her kid,’ was on an important work call.

Maybe the mom with ‘no patience’ was just having a bad day.

Maybe the mom ‘not enforcing the rules’ really has a child with ADHD.

Maybe the ‘lazy’ mom who gave her child an iPad just needed a thirty-minute break after being non-stop all day.

Motherhood’s hard.

And every day, we’re faced with decisions on how to parent our children: from what to feed them to how to discipline them, etc.

And no two moms are ever going to parent exactly alike.

We’re humans and individuals with different histories, temperaments, and different children to parent.



Courtesy of Danielle Sherman-Lazar

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Danielle Sherman-Lazar of New Jersey. You can follow her journey on Facebook and her blog. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.

Read more from Danielle here:

‘Everything’s going to be alright,’ we whisper. She can swoop in and make it all better, but she doesn’t have superpowers.’: Mom says ‘we’re humans that struggle too’

‘Her hard may be little compared to your hard, but she has reason to feel overwhelmed, and she deserves your empathy.’: Mom says ‘push judgement aside, no one’s having an easy time right now’

‘We can’t forget each other. Us is where it started.’: Mom urges ‘give grace’ to your partner, ‘Your entire family will feel it’

I’m A Mother Who Calls Her Mom Every Day

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