‘If she stays home with her kids: ‘How can her family financially keep up?’ If she works: ‘But they’re only little once.’: Mom urges ‘you’re a good mother, throw the unrealistic expectations away’

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“In our society, a mother suffers guilt no matter what she does.⁣

If she’s on top of her kids making sure everything’s okay, she’s called a helicopter mom, and if she lets them run around as she sits on the side talking to a friend, she’s neglectful.⁣

If she prefers cooking from scratch and organic everything, her kids are ‘going to go crazy on junk food when they go to someone else’s house.’

And if she feeds them donuts and muffins for breakfast some mornings because she’s in a rush or just because then her kids are unhealthy. ⁣

If she breastfeeds and doesn’t produce enough milk, and her baby isn’t thriving, then she’s a failure.

But when she adds formula, she’s more of a failure for not giving her baby all breast milk.⁣

If she stays home with her kids, she should be working because, ‘How can her family financially keep up?’

‘But if she’s working, she’s met with, ‘They’re only little once.’⁣

If she hasn’t lost the postpartum weight, ‘Gosh, she let herself go.’

But if she did, ‘Wow, she must not eat, spend hours working out, and neglect her children.’⁣

In a society that knows ‘everything’ and places too many expectations on moms…

If you listen to everyone else,⁣

you’re always going to fall short.⁣


and stop feeling bad for your choices.⁣

Throw those internalized unrealistic expectations away,⁣

and do what’s best for you and your family.⁣

It’s called your family for a reason.⁣

Besides, if you love your children and try,⁣

you’re a good mom.⁣”

Courtesy of Danielle Sherman-Lazar

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Danielle Sherman-Lazar of New Jersey. You can follow her journey on Facebook and her blog. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.

Read more from Danielle here:

‘Everything’s going to be alright,’ we whisper. She can swoop in and make it all better, but she doesn’t have superpowers.’: Mom says ‘we’re humans that struggle too’

‘Her hard may be little compared to your hard, but she has reason to feel overwhelmed, and she deserves your empathy.’: Mom says ‘push judgement aside, no one’s having an easy time right now’

‘We can’t forget each other. Us is where it started.’: Mom urges ‘give grace’ to your partner, ‘Your entire family will feel it’

I’m A Mother Who Calls Her Mom Every Day

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