‘You can do all the same things ‘so-and-so’ did and your child still may not achieve the same things.’: Special needs mom urges ‘go easy on yourself’

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“Friendly reminder: You can do all the same things ‘so-and-so’ did and your child still may not achieve the same things.

And that’s okay.

I wish someone would have said these words to me in the beginning.

In the beginning, I asked other parents in my similar shoes all the questions…when did your child do this? Or that? And what did you do?

How many hours of therapy a week does your child have?

How many rocks do you throw over your shoulder and jump on one foot while doing it?

Okay, kidding on the last one, but you better believe if a parent told me they did that and their child started crawling the next day, I may have given it a try.

There are children with CDG who walk, who talk, know multiple languages…but no amount of anything is going to get Christopher where those kids are.

And that’s okay.

I didn’t always feel this way. I felt as though we didn’t do enough. I didn’t try hard enough. I needed to do more. More of what? I honestly didn’t know because we did it all. But it’s not who he is. Not who he was meant to be.

I’m not saying don’t do it. I’m not saying to give up. I’m not saying we’re giving up. I’m not saying don’t try.

I’m saying it’s okay.
It’s okay if you do it all and still fall short of the goal.
I’m saying it’s not your fault.
I’m saying go easy on yourself.
I’m saying doing the same things doesn’t guarantee the same result.

Because some kids don’t.

And that’s okay.”

Mom and son cuddle on the couch in matching heart-patterned pajamas
Courtesy of Melissa Schlemmer

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Melissa Schlemmer of Forest Lake, Minnesota. You can follow their journey on Facebook and Instagram. Submit your own story hereand be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube  for our best videos.

Read more from Melissa here:

‘She said, ‘I know I shouldn’t complain, because as you know…it could always be worse.’ Wait a second. What?’: Special needs mom says ‘my son is not your worst-case scenario’

‘Shhhh, just keep walking.’ You taught her NOT to see my son.’: Special needs mom urges ‘ask the questions’

‘We carry a heavy load. Our bags and purses are full. What’s even harder is going to bed and unloading our shoulders.’: Special needs mom says ‘there are plenty of beautiful extras we gladly carry’

‘Somewhere there’s a mom tired of picking up toys. Somewhere else, there’s a mom choosing her child’s first wheelchair.’: Special needs mom says ‘I’ll always be grateful for where we are’

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