‘You ghosted me when my husband died. You told me I was thinking too much about myself.’: Widow hurt by friends who abandoned her and broke promises

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Read Betsy’s backstory here.

“When the world falls out from below you, and you’re lost and empty, just trying to find ways to stay afloat… that’s when you lose your people.

When the worst possible thing that can happen, happens… you’ll find yourself searching for your support beams, only they won’t be there.

And, in these moments, you’re supposed to pick yourself up off the ground, brush yourself off, and keep on trucking on.

Courtesy of Betsy Hendrickson Minton

That’s the story we love.

That’s the underdog winning, despite the odds.

We love to say these inspirational phrases like:

‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’


‘The world breaks everyone, and afterwards, many are stronger in the broken places.’

And, maybe it happens that way for you.

I hope it does.

I hope you get to look at all the people who left you in the dust and give them a wave as you put all your own broken pieces back together, all by your damn self.

But, some people… we’re just broken.

For some of us, we needed our support beams to pick up the ruins of our lives.

I needed mine… but you were gone.

Courtesy of Betsy Hendrickson Minton

So, to the friend who ghosted me when my husband died,

To the friend who told me I was just thinking too much about myself,

To the friend who compared her trauma of WATCHING my life crumble to the trauma of my life ACTUALLY crumbling,

To the friend who stopped inviting me places because I cancelled one too many times, or couldn’t find a babysitter, yet again,

To the friends who couldn’t show up to the wake, or the viewing, or the anniversary, or the kids’ birthday parties, or his birthday party…

To the friend who had the audacity to whisper behind my back when I dared to start dating,

To those ‘friends…’

I want you to know, I’m still broken.

I’m still struggling.

I don’t know why you made promises and didn’t follow through.

And, I’m not going to be the bigger person who says it’s okay, because it’s not.

I want you to know, I’d be better if you hadn’t abandoned me.

But, I also want you to know, I’m still pretty damn good.

I haven’t picked all my pieces up yet, but I’m trying.”

Courtesy of Betsy Hendrickson Minton

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Betsy Hendrickson – Minton, 25, and a mother of 5. Follow her journey on Instagram here.  Do you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here. Be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

Read more from Betsy:

‘It was a simple act of kindness she didn’t have to offer, as I’d never even met her in person. But she did.’: Act of kindness provides strength to let go and heal after loss of fiance

‘I used to tell people I didn’t believe in abortions. ‘It’s a baby! Murder!’ And then, my boyfriend died. You don’t know until you know.’: Woman struggling with grief says ‘I was faced with an impossible choice only I could make’

‘I left widow groups because my loss doesn’t get compassion like others.’: Woman reflects on overdose awareness day, ‘I loved him and he loved me’

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