“Anyone else? Just me? I don’t want to be discontent. I don’t want to accept my heart’s crummy tendency as normal.”
‘I have no—I mean NO—idea what I want. When I’m with my kids, I crave alone time. When we’re together as a family, I wish it were just my husband and me.’
‘Mommy! I’m going to ask Santa for a baby in your belly!’ Doing all I could to keep it together, I replied, ‘That may be a hard promise for him to keep.’
“‘Well,’ she paused. ‘Five days is a long time. If it were me, I’d want to know.’ I could not get her words out of my head. I purchased the finest pregnancy tests 8 quarters could buy.”
‘I lay in bed with wires and IV’s attached to me. A nurse walked in, armed with a breast pump. ‘You need to start pumping,’ she said. Excuse me?’
“A confused expression took over my face. I was barely alive.”
‘I heard them bring up me and say, ‘Wow another pregnancy! Geez I hope you guys can afford it.’ He looked over at me while I had tears in my eyes.’
“Then they said, ‘Gosh it must be boring being at home all day, what does she do all day? I guess she’s not going back to work? Must be nice.’ And they giggled to each other with their stupid faces.”
‘We thought we were too young! A proposal? She proceeded to tell us about a little baby boy, only 2 months old, who was ready to come home in three weeks. THREE WEEKS!’
“A few days later we pulled into the foster home and met our son for the first time. There are no words that can truly explain that experience, but I can say it is possible to love someone you just met.”
‘At first they thought both stuck, then they thought it was a chemical pregnancy, and then they weren’t sure if it was viable. Then I found blood. I was 100% sure I was losing the twins.’
“At first he was speechless, and then asked me if it was real. Next thing I know he is in tears, then I’m in tears.”
‘His skull looked as thin as a piece of paper. We were given the option to terminate at 7 months pregnant. He’s not dead yet.’
“The next day I got the call. ‘Jessica, can you come into the doctor’s office tonight?’ I was just heading out the door for work, but she said, ‘Jessica, you need to come in now please’.”
‘She said, ‘I’m sorry. There’s something wrong with your little girls’ chest.’
“The ultrasound tech couldn’t tell me what was wrong, she wouldn’t even tell me the gender of my baby. She kept making excuses to leave the room. I knew something was wrong, I had seen all of my sisters’ ultrasounds before, her babies never looked the way mine did.”
‘Oh my God, He’s coming!’ as I felt his head pop out, I stood up hoping to catch my tiny son, but he just slid right out and landed in the toilet.’
“Five minutes before our flight was to board, we all piled into the tiny family restroom and I sit down on the toilet. The firefighter asked me ‘Heather, how far along are you?’”
‘Post College Depression is a thing, I have it, WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT IT?’
“I spent four years building the life I wanted, and it all got pulled from under me after I graduated. How do I function without all of these THINGS? I didn’t know. Not to mention the pressures of the real world creeping up on you.”
