“The minute my phone dinged and I saw it – I knew. I just knew. I shook my head and bit my lip to keep the tears of fury from coming, but I instinctively knew what happened – teenagers. That’s what.”
‘I never thought I would have to say, ‘Now, kids, don’t go jumping in the attic because, well you know, you might fall through the ceiling one day.’
‘Don’t let him move back in, he’s going to kill you.’ I’d been living through hell in a horrible marriage. Most said, ‘Wow we thought you were so happy.’ I didn’t want anyone to know.’
“This little girl is excited and doesn’t understand why so many people have stopped by. Why are people bringing us food? Not realizing that her world is about to change. Her mom had been holding a secret.”
‘Santa walks over to a veteran sitting on the wall. As Santa approaches, the veteran stands, and Santa takes a knee.’
“I hear Santa telling the gentleman, in a soft voice, of others he knew who served. He shakes his hand with genuine gratefulness, thanking him for his service, then returns to the children.”
‘I place my son on the table. I’m concerned about the size of his belly. ‘Does it look too big?’ I see the fear on her face. My heart drops.’
“Sobs come from my chest, uncontrollably. This cannot actually be happening. I tell my husband to get Jameson dressed, in his car seat, and out the door now.”
‘When Santa was pouring milk into my son’s tube, he beamed with pride. ‘You see him give me my milkies mommy?!’
“Poor Santa was so nervous he was shaking. I was crying seeing how happy Austin was, feeling included sharing cookies with Santa!”
‘You know what I don’t remember about my childhood Christmases? I don’t remember anything being especially decorated.’
“I don’t remember Pottery Barn centerpieces or monogrammed stockings. I don’t remember Pinterest-worthy trees or anything that would make one declare, ‘That is so precious. I must Instagram it immediately.’ That all might have been there. But if it was, I don’t remember.”
‘I’ve actually heard my Grandkids calculating which Grandparent they can hit up for which toys for maximum impact. Our little angels are fully aware of our weakness.’
“When my girls were little, my parents doted on them shamelessly. Over-the-top-please-stop-you’re-ruining-my-kids doting. It made me nuts, but now I get it.”
‘I like daddy better than you! He always plays with me!’ Soul crushing, right? All the things I do for you go unnoticed, but I’ll do them for you anyway.’
“I’m the one tidying up the toys while you are wrestled with. I make sure all your appointments are up to date, even when I forget my own. I’m the one up till 3 a.m. making the LEGO house you asked for. Hiding Christmas presents.”
‘This is dwarfism and I’m 99% certain the result will be fatal.’ There it was. A bomb. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t talk, I didn’t understand at all. She was perfect.’
“As she rambled, completely ignorant of the fact I was in my own puddle of tears, she wrung her hands. It was horrible. At that point, my mother stepped in. She and my husband scooped me out of the chair and we left, never to return.”
‘Did you have genetic testing done?’ I went into panic mode. My cheeks got hot, mouth dry and how did my tongue suddenly get too big for my mouth? I said no. ‘Do you see something?’
“I stared deep into my friend’s eyes, begging, ‘is he okay? I can’t see his face.’ My husband reluctantly showed me. He knew what I yet didn’t. No one did. No one believed us. I said it. I said what I had been internalizing all along.”
