“I don’t want to take that mental health risk, so I’ll send them. But, now I’m greedy and don’t care about the teachers. Okay, so I’ll send them… but, we have to skip Thanksgiving, Christmas, and birthday parties. Now, my kids are upset. They miss their family.”
“The doctors hit us with a heavy blow. ‘She won’t be able to walk. Ever.’ We tried to memorize how she looked with two little legs.”
“We need you to remind us we aren’t actually dying. This feeling will pass. We are not crazy, and everything will be alright. Sometimes, we will need you to hold us close, but other times, we will want you to be nowhere near us. Loving someone with anxiety is not easy.”
“Tate was having some seizure activity. ‘He’s not going to get better.’ I crumbled all over again with strangers and secretaries staring at me. ‘Anyone else would be driving as fast as they could towards a hospital, and you guys are driving as fast as you can away from it.’”
“I cried to the nurse on the hotline, ‘It sounds like he has fluid in his chest.’ I would sit nursing my son, crying endlessly in that rocking chair. Every breath my son took heightened my already over-the-top anxiety attack. I knew it wasn’t just anxiety. It was something more. This was the start of so many triggers.”
“I was secretly hoping for a girl, but the sonographer told us it was a boy. I looked at Austin, smiled, and said, ‘At least we make healthy boys.’ The sonographer’s reaction was a little startling. She said, ‘Well, wait…’ She couldn’t get a good view of his heart, but she didn’t know why.”
“I was allowed no monitors to check on my baby during labor. I didn’t have a clue whether or not he was still alive. I was left in the dark. At 23 weeks, I didn’t dare look as I pushed him out. He was put into a small plastic bag, intubated at my side. I told my family, ‘This is the end.’ We planned his final outfit, said goodbye. Just in the nick of time, he showed us he wasn’t going anywhere.”
“I was losing weight and missing school a few days a week. I was in bed all week but when Friday rolled around, I insisted on going to the St. Patrick’s Day Breakfast. I barely remember the morning. We went on stage and just as the piano started, everything went black.”
“She didn’t laugh as much. She didn’t recognize me, and she wasn’t able to hold a conversation. I couldn’t believe the timing. It felt like a sign from my grandfather. I knew what I had to do.“
“I knew something was wrong. A nurse came in and said Ellis had stopped breathing in the nursery twice. ‘She’s at high risk for significant developmental disabilities.’ He encouraged my husband and I to have a conversation about what to do if our baby didn’t wake up.”
