“I started gushing so heavily, my entire bathroom was covered in blood. It looked like a murder scene. Was I having a miscarriage? ‘I’m sorry, but it’s Stage 4.’ I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I instantly broke into uncontrollable sobs.”
“We went on vacation to Disney World. I got the flu. Looking back, I’m so glad they had that time together. Just a girl and her dad, taking on the world. When we got home, he couldn’t walk without help. The ER doctor thought that he was having a reaction to Tamiflu. He looked just as shocked as I was and said, ‘It’s everywhere.'”
“Immediately our midwife called in the doctor. Within 3 minutes of meeting our precious Oliver, he was taken off my chest and over to the incubator. I didn’t know how to feel. My midwife was still trying to get me to stop bleeding as I struggled to see my baby. There was no time to process, research or pray. Here he was, our firstborn. We had no idea how to be parents, but then to throw in a special needs child, we were numb.”
“A man sat next to my daughter on the bus. It wasn’t busy, yet he chose the seat next to her. She stood up, moved over to me. ‘Aw, you don’t need to be scared. Cat got your tongue?’ He leaned in close. I felt her press into me. ‘She doesn’t want to talk,’ I explained firmly. ‘You should teach her some manners!’ he admonished me. He spluttered something along the lines of ‘back in my day.’ Everything about her body language screamed STOP, but he wasn’t listening.”
“We fluffed up the coat and zipped it up snugly on her petite frame. She twirled, danced and giggled inside the purple puffs. Then she stopped to look up at me, so sweet, so pure. It struck me that she couldn’t actually see herself. She wasn’t looking in a mirror. I felt the tears pooling behind my eyes.”
“It was 3 days after my 18th birthday, I stood in my bathroom screaming in horror. I was pregnant. Of all the stunts I’d pulled in my teenage years, this was by far the worst. What was even worse… I didn’t know if the baby was my boyfriend’s, or if I’d gotten pregnant by a guy I had a fling with in school. I hadn’t told my boyfriend there was a chance the baby wasn’t his. I was so ashamed I could hardly look him in the eyes.”
”A feeling came over me that my dad would not pass away if I was there. I was his little girl and he was my hero. 15 minutes later, he was gone. The first Christmas without my dad, I remember thinking, ‘Just smile.’ I also carried a water bottle with me everywhere, because my dad had once told me as a child, ‘if you drink water, you will calm down and not cry.”
“I instantly felt guilt seep in as I recalled telling my husband he had ‘nothing to worry about.’ After all, I was the one with the fertility issues. Others put their foot in our mouths with unwanted advice: ‘Just relax.’ ‘There’s no rush.’ I sat on the toilet lid, uncovered my test. I felt a flood of confusion wash over me. ‘Call the clinic!’ I broke down to my husband. I was at my wits end.”
“Teachers would say, ‘Lauren is very polite, gifted, such a cute little girl.’ My peers started to reject me. My school life was marred by rumors and taunts. I began to tell myself, ‘There is something wrong with you.’ I could never remember to bathe. I once went half a year without washing my hair. At age 23, I finally learned the truth. I am autistic. I am not broken.”
“A friend posted that they didn’t use diapers – they simply held their baby over the toilet or ground, from birth, and avoided poopy diapers. I thought, ‘I’m in! Where do I sign up?’ When I discovered I was pregnant, I bought a book that explained this phenomenon that could save me from All. The. Mess. It just felt right. On the day of his birth, my son started wriggling and bearing down. I was handed a small potty and held him over it. He did that first nasty poop in the potty, and I can assure you I never looked back.”