“I told my grandmother everything I could remember of that night, every detail of what he told me. My whole life changed in an instant; one day I had a family, then my family became smaller. I blamed myself for what had happened. I always thought I was dirty and an awful person because of what happened.”
“‘Do you know who Lisa and Jerry are?’ Again, I nodded yes. I recognized my parents’ names. ‘Do you know who Jamee and Isabella are?’ I couldn’t recall. The names seemed foreign. My own children.”
“She looked at me and said, ‘I’m fat?’ Tears started running down her face. Just that morning, I took photos of a confident girl who truly loved who she was and by night she refused to eat. She trusted our doctor and he betrayed her.”
“I’ll say, ‘don’t do that again.’ He’ll look me square in the eyes, and do it again. And again. And again. I must be royally screwing everything up.”
“He was sleeping, when I heard him say something. I leaned in. As clear as can be, he started having a conversation with Mom and Jeff. Jeff is his son, who died 2 years ago. They were whole, healthy, and together once again. I was overwhelmed by what had just taken place.”
“The idea crumbled me. Knowing he was at the crematory, and knowing it’d be his turn. Was I eating lunch when they loaded his body in? Was I nursing my twins? Even talking about this is so shameful. His ashes sit in a cupboard. I know they’re there. But I don’t want to see them.”
“What I didn’t expect was a visit from the fire crew that was on scene and who, like true heroes, tried to save that baby’s life. They came in together, stood before me and asked if we could all share a hug.”
“We got married young, had 3 beautiful children and had a bitter divorce. Three years later, that relationship is much different.”
“For years, I watched his life move forward on my computer screen. He didn’t know it, but the moments he took to talk to me were pulling me through some of my darkest days. Did this stranger know how much I adored him? That tiny note was the very first time I saw his handwriting, and realized I loved him.”
“They would take my glasses off my face and see me wander around blindly trying to get them back. Then they would settle for throwing me in the trashcan. All I wanted was to go about my day in peace, but things only got worse.”
