“Every time people saw me, there was another new bruise or broken bone. The night before Johnny gave me some meth and pills, CPS said they had to come and do an assessment. He immediately told the worker I had been ‘up doing drugs all night.’ That night was the beginning of the end.”
“One baby was much paler than the other and born 2 pounds lighter. ‘How could one be so different than the other?’ The science didn’t make sense. I had no idea of the world I would be thrown into. I started to feel like maybe something was wrong with my babies. They had two totally different souls.”
“I got excited at the idea of one more child. Then the doctor told me, ‘Time is of the essence for you. It seems the kidney isn’t here.’ Now you might be asking, what about the pee? We lost his heartbeat. They couldn’t get it back. My doctor looked me in the eye. ‘We need to get him out, NOW.'”
“Not once had I ever logged into anything of his. I never thought I had a reason to. Our relationship was secure. I was secure. I noticed his email was open. To this day, I am still not sure what made me click on his open email. I like to think it was my grandma looking down, trying to save me from the worst mistake of my life.”
“The deadly bacterial infection spread to my heart. The machine next to my bed started beeping wildly. I remember the fluorescent lights burning my eyes. The beeps kept getting louder, louder. My mother flew over, piling blankets over me. Though my mother was not calm this time, I breathed her in. That’s all I remember. No pain.”
“The moment I’m at home alone with the thoughts of my divorce the urge to drink alone at home begin. There’s a reason I’m always out and about, why my social calendar is booked, and why I like getting away and going out of town on the weekends. It is because I have to.”
“I hope you never get that phone call at work. That desperate plea from your child to ‘come get me now.’ The call where your heart drops into your stomach and you have no idea what you are walking in to. I would much rather be at my desk.”
“What if you go home today and notice she’s still angry, frustrated, and (ridiculously) quick to argue. What if, instead of choosing to join her chaos, you choose to help settle it?”
“I remember walking into the church on a warm June day and seeing my husband’s casket at the end of the aisle, draped with the American flag. Like so many of us before you, you gained membership into a club nobody wants to join, and on top of that, the whole world is watching. I promise you will come out of this on the other side one day.”
“The harsh reality is I won’t be around forever. One day I’ll pass away just like Kobe Bryant, but his memory, just like our videos, will live on. I hope one day my kids will look back at this footage and remember, without a doubt, this dad absolutely loved his boys.”
