“The text read, ‘I’ll be home at 6.’
He must be joking, I thought. My husband likes to make ‘funny’ jokes like that.
I gave him a call. ‘You are joking, right?’ I said when he picked up.
‘What do you mean?!’ I said, my frustration and anger beginning to boil up.
That’s when it clicked for him. ‘Oh, shoot.’ (Except he didn’t say shoot…)
You see he was supposed to bring our daughter to swimming at 5:30. He does this every week, the exact same time, exact same day.
How could he possibly forget? This is what I was thinking in my head.
I had two options at this point: Lay down my rage on him or take a DEEP breath and choose to let it go.
It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that he forgot. It wasn’t fair to his daughter and it wasn’t fair to me. He was for sure in the wrong.
But here’s the thing. Marriage isn’t always ‘fair.’ It isn’t always 50/50. It definitely isn’t always about laying down your rage when the other does wrong.
Marriage? It’s an ALL IN thing. It’s not a ‘I’ll be nice when he’s nice’ thing.
You didn’t vow, ‘I promise to hold, from this day forward, as long as HE doesn’t make any mistakes on HIS end.’
Ladies, our men will do wrong.
They will forget things like dates and times and picking up milk from the store.
They will fail to see a way to help you out around the house while they are busy on their phone.
They will miss your cues to wanting a romantic night out.
They will leave their socks lying everywhere, their dishes on the living room table, and their dirty clothes on the bedroom floor.
They will not listen and annoy and bug.
They will leave toothpaste in the sink and keep the toilet seat up.
But ladies, we will also do wrong.
We will forget things like dates and times and picking up milk from the store.
We will fail to see how he needs a minute to just ‘chill’ after a long day at work.
We will miss the things he has already done and forget how much help he already is.
We will fail to put his clothes in the laundry on time, to make him a lunch for work, and to not wake him up in the middle of the night before a big meeting the next day.
We will push and nag and bug and annoy.
We will take forever to get ready, plug up the bathroom sink, and leave the toilet seat down.
He might be the one doing the wrong today. It might be you tomorrow. Or maybe it’s both. Most of the time we don’t even realize when it’s us in the wrong. Most of the time we can’t even comprehend how we are wronging our partner. Most of the time it’s in the simplest every day moments of life.
Truth is. I raged a bit. I let my anger come at him, in half force. But then I stopped it midway.
‘You know what, it’s okay. It’s not a big deal.’ I interrupted my beginning rant.
‘It’s fine, I’ll leave right now. Be there in an hour.’ He responded.
He made it on time. He apologized. Boy am I thankful I didn’t continue on that raging rant. Truthfully, only a little bit ago I would have.
We always have a choice in these moments. We can choose to spew out in rage. We can choose to let the frustration and anger boil with in until the time it blows up with all our might.
Or we can choose to take a breath. To pray. To forgive. To remember we all aren’t perfect. To love despite the wrong.
Forgive. He’ll probably need to forgive you incredibly soon.
Love. We all aren’t perfect.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by A Beautiful Alarm. Subscribe to our free email newsletter, Living Better—your ultimate guide for actionable insights, evidence backed advice, and captivating personal stories, propelling you forward to living a more fulfilling life.
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