‘Oh honey, you should really wait until you lose the baby weight.’ Other customers heard. It took everything in me not to cry.’: Adoptive mom shamed for ‘baby weight’ by jewelry store employee

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“For years I used to starve myself to fit into the Abercrombie clothing, smaller sizes. I thought if I had one roll on my stomach boys wouldn’t find me attractive. I would cry in my room and do sit ups before bed to make sure I wouldn’t get bigger. I have always been self-conscious of my stomach. Once someone told me not to wear a white T-shirt because it was unflattering on my stomach. I literally haven’t worn one ever since.

As an adult I have decided to love myself, to eat healthy, realize the scale is just a number, to be active, and not be obsessed with my weight. My husband and I decided to adopt last year, which has been a beautiful journey becoming a family of three, but it is also extremely hard and stressful. I am one that stress eats to the max! I ended up gaining 15 pounds in 4 months. I did my best to just enjoy every moment as a new mama to my baby boy. And focus on that.

Courtesy of Lacey Giebel
Courtesy of Lacey Giebel

Most of you may have heard how motherhood goes, and hopefully have gotten the blessing to experience it yourself. Late night feeds, baths, diaper changes, quick showers, no sleep, etc. I was getting to know my new baby and our new dynamic and relationship. The weight gain started to eat at me (pun intended). I saw other new moms that had birthed their babies that were already smaller than me, with flatter stomachs, fitting into their tiny jeans. And here I was bigger than my usual, uncomfortable, and embarrassed that I was big, and I didn’t birth my child.

Courtesy of Lacey Giebel

When my son was about 6 months old, I had gotten up while he was still sleeping so I could actually get ready. I had been feeling down about my appearance, but I lost some of the weight and felt confident this day. I was taking my son to get my wedding ring inspected and cleaned (big, exciting outing, I know).

I walked into the store and into the jewelry department. I was feeling so amazing with my beautiful baby boy on my hip. The women went goo goo over Banning (I mean, who wouldn’t?) and then I asked about getting my ring soldered together since I hadn’t gotten to it yet. The lady looked at me and made a scrunched-up face.


My eyes instantly started to water. I was speechless. There were other customers around who heard. It took everything within me not to cry. I didn’t even want to stand there to tell her he was adopted. This was just my body, I didn’t birth him.

Courtesy of Lacey Giebel

I’m not saying this for people to comment that I’m pretty, and not fat, and feel bad for me. I’m writing this honestly to remind people to be KIND. You don’t know what people are going through. You may see a woman with greasy hair and think, ‘Ew gross, shower!,’ but maybe she can’t because her baby is fussy and up all night and she hasn’t had 10 minutes. Maybe you see a mom with bad acne but maybe she’s breaking out because her baby likes touching her face while she gives them a bottle/nurses.

In a world full of mom shaming, be a mom that lifts up other moms.”

Courtesy of Lacey Giebel
Courtesy of Lacey Giebel

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Lacey Giebel of Washington. You can follow her journey on InstagramDo you have a similar experience? We’d like to hear your important journey. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.

Read Lacey’s beautiful adoption backstory:

‘An hour before our flight, I got a text. ‘WATER BROKE BRING CAR SEAT!!!’ We couldn’t believe it! We were off to meet our baby boy. ‘I have news. Call me back,’ she said on the voicemail.’

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