‘It’s apologizing in advance, holding your breath through play dates and parent-teacher conferences, and knowing you are the topic of conversation every time you leave a room.’: Mom’s journey parenting ‘misunderstood’ child with ADHD

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“Having a child with ADHD means apologizing in advance.

It’s knowing that people will see a lack of impulse control as your kid’s only personality trait.

They will miss their creativity.

And sensitivity.

They won’t see how hard they are trying to fit in right now.

And how hard you are trying to fit in right now.

Having a child with ADHD is holding your head high in parent-teacher conferences,

But then crying in the car.

It’s being too afraid to let anyone else watch them because what if they can’t love them as much as you?

It’s honestly not trusting anyone to love them as much as you.

Having a child with ADHD is holding your breath through play dates.

It’s knowing that every time you leave a room you are the topic of conversation.

People are saying what they would do differently.

How if only you were a better parent, or provided more discipline, or followed through more…it wouldn’t be like this.

Because ADHD is a symptom of your parenting, not a medical diagnosis.

They don’t know that every day you pray about how you can do this better.

And your biggest fear is that you are doing too much discipline.

Having a child with ADHD can be lonely.

And isolating.

And anxiety-inducing.

But it’s also snuggling in bed.

And brushing back hair from their face.

And giggling quietly because God, they are so funny.

And then there’s this moment.

Where you just feel so lucky to know what it’s like to fight like hell for someone else.

And you’d have more energy to do that if you stopped wasting it worrying about people who will never understand.

Having a child with ADHD

Means being a parent

Who focuses their limited energy

on protecting, and guiding, and loving

Your often,



three kids standing on a ledge, one with ADHD, but smiling and playing
Courtesy of Heather Thompson Day

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Heather Thompson Day, blogger at I’m That Wife, of Denver, Colorado. You can follow her journey on Facebook and Instagram. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories.

Read more stories from Heather here:

‘My husband doesn’t make tons of money or write poetry. But he says I love you without saying, ‘I love you.’: Woman reminds us to ‘soak in the tiny gestures’ we often miss

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‘She flatly told us his ‘problem.’ One phone call changed my understanding as to what was happening in the school walls.’: Son diagnosed with ADHD, mom talks about how proud she is he made it through school

‘I’m fine! I have it figured out!’ I struggled in secret as I hid behind my smile. I woke up in a suicide room.’: Woman shares her ADHD journey to make mental health ‘less secretive and stigmatized’

‘He’s a HORRIBLE little boy.’ My heart broke into pieces.’: Mom details parenting two children with ADHD, ‘The tears and tantrums were worth it’

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