“There are moments I just want to walk away from it all.
I want to walk away from the mess in the kitchen where I stand wondering what on Earth I’m going to feed people.
And from the giant stacks of laundry and all the unmatched socks.
And the never ending list of things that need to be fixed around here and why do all our problems here usually involve water?
But even more I want to walk away from the super hard parts of parenting.
From the constant discipline of my people and of myself.
From the worry that comes with pieces of your heart living their lives outside your body.
From the challenges and expectations and moments where I am weak and let the whispers in that want me to believe loving them isn’t really enough.
I sometimes get weary of being The One.
The One who is supposed to do all the things and have all the answers.
Because for the actual love who put me in charge??
I am ridiculously unqualified for most of what I do each day and I sometimes find myself looking around for an actual grown up.
And I’m 40-freaking-5 friends. Pretty sure young me thought 45 was beyond grown up. And yet I swear I know less now than I did in my 20’s.
But lucky for us… not one of us are The One.
God lays claim to that title and darn it all if falling back on Him isn’t the only way.
The more we try and be The One with the answers and the fixers of all the things the more we mess it all up with our humanness.
But if we lean into him, He will give us the strength to stay right where we are and he’ll give us the words we need right in that moment and he will wrap us in his Love.
And that is always, always, always enough.
We might not have this… but He’s got us.
What. A. Blessing.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Hiding in the Closet with Coffee by Amy Betters-Midtvedt. The article originally appeared here. Submit your story here, and be sure to subscribe to our best love stories here.
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