“Isn’t it funny? How the heart can love something long before it knows its face. It runs deeper than we could ever measure; the strength of this love is somehow able to make us feel and do things we once half-believed.
They tell us – the women at the baby showers, or in the supermarket, eyeing our bellies from across the tiled floors. The mothers as they grasp sticky hands and soothe screaming lips. ‘It’s like nothing you’ve ever known,’ they say. ‘It’s the best thing you’ll ever do. Trust me.’
We smile politely, nod, and worry again about the pain of labor, the fear of failing, or the looming sleep deprivation. About making sure we keep them safe once they’re here. Because we haven’t known it yet, and quite frankly we’re nervous to do so.
But one night, after sweat, tears, and pain, we are there. Experiencing the rush of our hearts separating from our bodies and arriving as a tiny human—suddenly free in this giant world. A piece of our souls, breathing the same air, thumping its own heart, but still needing us. After all, we were once one in the same.
That night, we feel it. A love so deep it hurts. Aches. How can we love someone so much, nothing that mattered yesterday matters today? Those women were right. They told me to trust them when they said those things about motherhood. But I’ve seen it for myself, now.
Yes, I’ll live the long nights and stained t-shirts. The numbers on the scale remind me of how my body has shifted to create more love. I’ll see those things for myself, too.
But the deep, aching love overpowers all of it. And I’ll say it when someone asks. When uncertainty flickers in the eyes of a friend as delivery approaches.
But I know they’ll have to see for themselves as I did. And at the risk of sounding like just another mother who we politely nod our heads at while we rub our stretching bellies…
It really is unlike anything else, it really is the best thing I’ll ever do, and it hurts in the very best way. Our hearts really can beat and live outside of our bodies.
Our babies are living proof of it and we will spend our lives from that night on, with a love so deep it hurts. And it will be worth it all. As those women have said, ‘Trust me.'”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Molly Savitzky. You can follow her journey on Instagram. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
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