“A month ago, May 24th, Taten and I made the most unthinkable decision to terminate our pregnancy with our little boy, Cohen Jack.
This is a choice we never thought we would have to make, a choice I honestly never thought about other moms and dads having to go through.
Our baby had a stroke very early in the womb and had no brain, his body and his organs kept developing without his brain.
They couldn’t tell us if he would live a minute, a week, or a year.
After birth, if survival, they immediately insert a shunt into the base of the skull to prevent additional fluid in the skull so it doesn’t continue to swell.
Nothing about this decision was easy, nothing about this decision gave me hope for the future.
It would’ve been more selfish to keep baby Cohen for the idea of having him and for who he should’ve been, contrary to the life he would (but not really) live.
We were so excited for this little boy.
Imagine buying a car seat, clothes, and bottles, and then being told he won’t need them long.
Imagine holding and touching your little boy’s lifeless hand when you know damn well he was supposed to love, cry, play, and make mistakes, but that was taken from him before we made the choice.
Nothing would’ve changed baby Cohen’s life.
We had to travel to Colorado for a week to have him because Nebraska doesn’t allow abortions after a particular gestation period.
On May 24th they stopped his heart, and on May 26th, after bleeding out, I delivered him.
This was the worst experience I will ever go through.
For a baby that was so loved and so wanted…
I went through the worst experience of my life and the darkest place we’ve ever been so that our baby could be safe, instead of suffering.
Put yourselves in our shoes before you say, ‘Thank god it’s overturned.’
Because I’m sitting here, on the anniversary of his death, saying thank god it was a month ago or I would still be pregnant with a little boy that had no future.
Instead of bringing him into this world to suffer, we sent him upstairs to be with our closest loved ones.
He’s met the people we loved the hardest, and I thank god that one day I will get to meet him, but he won’t be the little boy we would’ve known.
To anyone that has ever been through anything remotely similar, I am so sorry for your loss, I know that baby was so loved.”
Read more stories like this here:
‘Jennifer, I have bad news. Get your husband on the phone.’ Today, I should be holding my newborn. Instead, I’m scattering his ashes.’: Grieving mom pens PSA on late-term abortion, ‘I didn’t lose a baby, I lost a lifetime of hopes and dreams’
‘You can terminate the pregnancy or wait for the baby’s heart to be crushed.’ I feared being judged by friends and family for deciding to save my life.’: Woman births rainbow baby after painful decision to abort dying son, ‘He was suffocating’
‘It’s okay, baby, you can go.’ With tear-filled eyes, we held our little boy’s body as his soul went peacefully to Heaven to join his big brother.’: Parents lose newborn to Alveolar Capillary Dysplasia
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