Amanda Doulos is a digital editor for Love What Matters based in New York City. She will graduate from Binghamton University with a Bachelor of English Literature and Spanish in Spring 2023. She loves staying involved as vice president of the mock trial team and secretary of Spanish Honor Society. In her free time, she loves reading, traveling, and spending time with friends.
“This journey has taken me 10 years, countless appointments, oceans of tears, and an entire community.”
“I’d spend my mornings crying, screaming, begging to stay home. My mental health was declining, my anxiety rising, my depression and self-loathing looming like a black cloud. I was terrified to go to school. The people were mean, the teachers didn’t understand me, and the work was too hard. I was falling behind, and at that point, I didn’t care anymore. I was the odd one out, with no support.”
“I was still reeling from a painful divorce. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, and I certainly wasn’t looking for a family. I thought to myself, ‘What the heck am I doing? I’m not prepared for this!’ But as they say, some of the best things happen when you aren’t looking.”
“I weighed myself every day, all day long. My weight after lunch controlled what I’d eat for dinner, and if I’d throw up later. With the ‘nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’ vibe of the early 2000s, it was little wonder I spent years on a never-ending train of diets, flirting with bulimia.”
“Disabled life can be frustrating. There are many things that hold our community back from experiencing all this world has to offer. But I wouldn’t change it for anything. It has made me the person I am, on top of all the other things life has thrown my way.”
“Life isn’t black and white. Life isn’t pro-choice versus pro-life. My story isn’t meant to ask you to change your beliefs. But I hope it can offer you some perspective regarding the complexity of making a life-changing decision.”
“I needed to go into this journey for HEALTH, not because I wanted to look like this person or that person. It has changed my whole perspective. I am happy with my body again, and I am confident again.”
“I texted my mom. ‘We can have the kids,’ she replied. It was time to finally let go of my past experiences with love and open myself up again.”
“I poured a lot of myself into family life this past year with some beautiful results and some really crappy ones. Resolutions are a promise to yourself, and I’m starting now.”
“I began working for a drug dealer at the age of 15. I might not be able to change the world, but I can be a better me and hopefully inspire others.”
