LJ Herman is a former editor at Love What Matters and lives in Colorado. LJ is a concert, ticket and technology enthusiast. He has seen the Dave Mathews Band over one hundred times and counting.

LJ Herman is a former editor at Love What Matters and lives in Colorado. LJ is a concert, ticket and technology enthusiast. He has seen the Dave Mathews Band over one hundred times and counting.
“I told her it would have been more fun with a friend in tow. I thought she’d tell me to stop outsourcing my needs to other people and start spending more time with the man I married.”
“‘I have to get naked and bend over. They want to make sure I’m not sneaking anything in my butt cheeks.’ After a revolving door of drugs and women, and a lifetime of waiting for you to change, I gave up. It felt like a knife on your exposed flesh. I could see it in your eyes but that wasn’t enough to make me say ‘Dad.’ I’d be damned before I let you in again.”
“I didn’t contradict her. Some days, I really miss having a quiet meal with easily flowing adult conversation. Some nights, I fantasize about sleeping without interruption or a foot in my face. But this chaos that is my life brings me joy.”
“She would make comments about finding a new family for her son if we didn’t give her the extra money, dangling her baby boy in front of us like a carrot. I truly lost my faith in humanity. She pretended to be a lot of things, but a decent human being was, by far, her greatest act. She was sentenced to 20 years in prison.”
“I threw heavy flower pots through the glass front door and begged the police officer to shoot me. Sadly, the beast that is addiction took over. As terrifying as it was to unearth such a deep truth about myself, suddenly everything began to click. I began to recognize why I couldn’t stay sober for even an hour. I was not the woman I was raised to be.”
“Around 6 a.m., I heard her crying by my bed. ‘Mommy, my head hurts, my throat hurts, and my chest hurts really bad.’ This child never cried. She was breathing weird and for a bit, I thought she was being dramatic. Then in her weak, sweet, little voice, she asked, ‘Mommy, am I going to die?’ Something wasn’t sitting right. Every few seconds, she would say, ‘Mommy’ or ‘Hello,’ just so I knew she was doing okay.”
“No matter how hard I worked, how dedicated I was, or how much effort I put into my classroom, I was still considered ‘just a teacher.’ My parents did not raise a quitter.”
“Nothing readies you for when your 8 year old has completely lost control; for when his behavior disorders become so powerful his brain is no longer acting as a part of his body but has now waged war on it. But today–thank God, today–I kept it together.”
“We jumped in the car to run some evening errands. ‘Stay there. We are sending help,’ she said urgently. The thing that defined our relationship was snack wrappers. It’s embarrassing to admit how much of our daily interaction revolved around me telling him to, ‘pick them up!’ It is always the unimportant decisions that change lives.”
“Sometimes my teenager’s 6ft-tall stature and deep voice and shadow of a mustache and size 13 shoes trick me into thinking he might not need me so much anymore. Everything seems to be changing, but there is one thing that will never change…I will ALWAYS be his mom.”
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