“I feel like I need to start this off by saying that my wife and I are TRULY blessed beyond measure to have our twin boys and that any ‘complaining’ that may come across in this article is from a place of severe sleep deprivation.
Being a dad of twins is all that I know. Being a ‘stay at home’ dad of twins is fairly new and I’m still trying to find my groove. I put it in quotes because I wouldn’t consider that my job title. I’m a writer and filmmaker, but I get to thankfully do most of that from home. I haven’t won any Oscars or made any movies starring The Rock lately, so my wife and I both still work.
I don’t know what it’s like having one baby at a time, and I don’t know what it’s like having three at a time (I pray that I never find out). It’s really difficult at times, and the question I always get is ‘How do you do it?’. That’s easy. Because I have to. What other choice is there? You don’t even think about it. You can’t, or it would be too overwhelming.
Having twins will surely have its advantages at some point in life, we just aren’t at that stage yet. Sure, they’re cute, it’s fun to dress them up in matching outfits, and the attention from strangers constantly asking, ‘Are they twins?’ without any sort of follow up as to why they asked the question is nice, but I wouldn’t necessarily call those advantages. I’m sure having one baby can be a struggle and having one baby with a toddler running around has its own challenges, but please, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, do not say you know what it’s like having twins. You don’t. I Promise. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that.
Some people have been contacting me asking what things we have that are great and what aren’t great, so when I got asked to write something about being a new dad of twins, I thought this would be a great time to include all of that.
– Swing: great for a month, hardly used since.
– DockATot: amazing. Get one. Now.
– Diaper Genie: I don’t know how people do it without one.
– Baby Brezza: if you’re on the formula route, this was a LIFE SAVER.
– TwinZPillow: meh. Could live without it. Hear it’s super beneficial though for breastfeeding moms.
– Beer/Wine: for parents, obviously. Highly recommend.
We’re six months in and we have found a few non-store-bought things that help make things easier. Our most important thing we have is a schedule, and we are VERY adamant about staying on it. Feed at the same time. Nap at the same time. Bathe at the same time. Without that schedule, our world would be total chaos and I would get absolutely nothing done. Currently off the schedule…so…
The (close) second most important thing that we do, is let someone else watch them at least once a week and go on a date. We’re lucky enough to have family super close by that don’t scare easily and love to watch these guys for a couple of hours. It keeps us sane, connected, and lets us miss the little nuggets a little.
Lastly, this came from our therapist (yes, things got so crazy in the beginning we literally thought we were losing our minds. No shame. If you need help, get it.), when we are feeling overwhelmed and both babies are crying, we set them down in their cribs, take the monitor with us, and step outside for just a moment. Breathe in the fresh air and thank God for all of the amazing things that we have that others only dream about. The babies will be fine.
If you see someone brave enough to take their twins (or more…….) out in public alone to, let’s say the grocery store, maybe ask if they need help. They most likely do and would love another pair of washed, up to date on vaccines, hands, if even for a brief moment. If in your gut of guts, you feel like you have to say something, just say how cute the babies are. Don’t ask if they’re twins unless you have a follow up story or question. A word of encouragement will boost their morale more than you know (lookin’ at you Todd, the Costco cashier. You’re the real MVP).
To all my overwhelmed stay at home parents of multiples out there, we are blessed to be this tired. Maybe one day we’ll run into each other and nod knowingly, without needing any words. I’m proud of you. You can do this. Husband, wife, or other gets home in 4 hours and 13 minutes. Traffic is light today, so they should be on time. You can make it.
You can make it.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Matt Martin, 28, of Dallas, Texas. You can follow him on Instagram here. Submit your own story here, and subscribe to our best stories in our free newsletter here.
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