“I had one pregnancy test in my drawer and decided to bite the bullet. I watched it load and I could not take my eyes off of it for one second. After 3 minutes, the words appeared… ‘pregnant.’ My heart stopped. I got in my car and made the 10-minute drive to my ex’s house. I just wanted to get to him and hug him. I was carrying his child.”
“Living in the thick of the fire, my tribe was there to hold my hand as I walked through. I found myself sitting on a doctor’s couch the following Tuesday, sobbing tears of grief and agony. They helped me make sense of the madness and encouraged me to feel again.”
“I was trying to act normal with Amelie’s mom, knowing full well it was her daughter who bit my daughter the week before. One says hello. My kids, their kids, they all act like a bunch of strangers. My son was the first one to fess up.”
“I knew parenthood would be full of stress, but not like this. Hayden’s conditions were so rare, he didn’t fit into any box we could find. We couldn’t even find the questions to ask. I watched as all the other new moms got to have normal kids without a care in the world.”
“Your second baby will make you wish for fewer hours in the day, but make you long for more time to soak them in. Your time and attention and your energy and your patience will be split in two, but your heart will double in size. These babies won’t last forever.”
“Those same friends are showing off their bikini bodies that haven’t changed since high school, while I chase after kids to separate, divert, and redirect. I grab plates of food from the table so they aren’t thrown next, and throw whatever bits of leftover nuggets or pizza on them into my mouth, as I hear my stomach growl from forgetting to make my own lunch.”
“I got the call. The one I never in a million years thought I would receive. She had no prenatal care, she was not born in the hospital, and she was detoxing from multiple narcotics. ‘You have 2 minutes to choose a name.’ We went from one child to 4 in the span of 5 months.”
“It was the Friday before Memorial Day when things really began to fall apart. I remember being at church during a prayer meeting and saying aloud, ‘This is a dark place.’ I started quoting scripture he never realized I had memorized. No one seemed too concerned.”
“I would like others to know I’m not a threat to society.”
“I heard him mumble to himself on the way home, ‘God, I love this feeling.’ His father and I appreciate you so much more than you knew when you handed him his change and he ran out the door. He will never forget this, I promise.”
