“When I walked in, she hugged me. I whispered in her ear, ‘Don’t f*@King ask how I’ve been, because I’ve been better. Now can we please do something about my gray hairs.’ The worst is always ‘time will heal.’ You think every day for the rest of my life I won’t think about her and it won’t break my heart all over again?’ It sends me into an internal rage.”
“When my mom died, I was alone – I was like a cork bobbing in the ocean with no direction.”
“I forgot to send my kid to school with shoes….again. I cry the entire way home. I throw myself a pity party on what my life was supposed to look like. But then I get the little boy who has been handed a very hard life. The teen mom who has nowhere to turn, and the drug addicted mother who lives a life of regret. I will get too attached every single time. And that’s definitely a good thing.”
“The daydreams of twenty-something freedom felt gone. We were just another measured ‘teen mother’ statistic that pigeonholed our future. I was scared and unsure, but my husband never doubted. We didn’t just decide to rock the boat. We decided to sell the ‘boat’ and trade it for a set of wings, a huge dose of optimism, and faith in the unknown future.”
“I’m not talking about romantic love. I’m not talking about the boo hoo’s of a bad break-up. I’m talking the pain of staring into the blank eyes of your child who you would die for, literally die, and never knowing if or what they feel in return.”
“As you both passed the side of my car, your son, still trying to catch up with your pace, made contact with mine. My son threw his cup and flung his head back in frustration. He couldn’t tell me what he needed; he is non-verbal. He didn’t know someone had noticed him, someone called him his friend.”
“My 6-year-old’s pediatrician stared him straight in the eyes and ordered, ‘You stay away from cigarettes. Your lungs can’t handle it.’ There are some struggling who didn’t choose this fight. Let’s not forget them. The air you exhale is the same air we breathe.”
“I told her it would have been more fun with a friend in tow. I thought she’d tell me to stop outsourcing my needs to other people and start spending more time with the man I married.”
“My infertility journey began at 11. I’d just started my period and there I was, having life-saving surgery, my ovaries twisting in pain. ‘The growth on your bladder is cancerous and ready to spread.’ After years with my husband, it was time to call the IVF clinic. I did the usual bloodwork, only to be called soon after. ‘Can you come back in? It seems you’re already pregnant…’ Tears fell down my face. I could not believe my eyes.”
“‘I have to get naked and bend over. They want to make sure I’m not sneaking anything in my butt cheeks.’ After a revolving door of drugs and women, and a lifetime of waiting for you to change, I gave up. It felt like a knife on your exposed flesh. I could see it in your eyes but that wasn’t enough to make me say ‘Dad.’ I’d be damned before I let you in again.”
