‘The ache in my heart starts around the holidays. I know I am being ‘watched.’ I’m actually afraid everyone will think I have moved on and forgotten my son.’: Bereaved mom navigates grief during the holidays

“Everyone asked if we were doing anything special in honor of Alex on the first anniversary of his death. I refuse, to this day, to call it an anniversary. It is the day our lives changed forever. Anniversaries are for celebrating. So I just call it the day Alex died.”

‘Does it look too big?’ Our perfect, happy, healthy baby boy had a belly full of tumors. Cancerous tumors.’: Mom’s newborn diagnosed with Neuroblastoma, says ‘every little moment’ with loved ones is a ‘reason to celebrate’

“When our pediatrician comes back in, I see fear on her face. I feel the air leaving my lungs, my chest feels so heavy. She tells me his liver and spleen are enlarged, so enlarged the radiologist who read his X-ray asked, ‘How sick is this baby?!’ He’s not sick at all! He’s smiling and laughing, he’s perfect. I rush toward the elevator, a literal sobbing mess. How did I not know this? I thought I knew shock and devastation. I had no idea.”

‘When Santa was pouring milk into my son’s tube, he beamed with pride. ‘You see him give me my milkies mommy?!’: Santa shares tender moment with little boy, ‘his biggest wish came true’

“All we have been longing for, for two years, was for Austin to be able to eat again. It’s been rough on him – he couldn’t have liquid or food orally. He has recently started eating again, after two years completely tube fed, and he is able to try many foods now. This picture is the perfect celebration and way to remember that his biggest wish came true.”

‘You know what I don’t remember about my childhood Christmases? I don’t remember anything being especially decorated.’: Woman’s best Christmas memories aren’t ‘picture perfect’

“I don’t remember Pottery Barn centerpieces or monogrammed stockings. I don’t remember Pinterest-worthy trees or anything that would make one declare, ‘That is so precious. I must Instagram it immediately.’ That all might have been there. But if it was, I don’t remember.”

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