Family

‘Are you sick? Should I get tested?’ My first instinct was denial. ‘I’m not sick. If you want to get tested, do it. You don’t have it!’ I was confused. How could she even say that to me?! I was shocked!’

“My dad proceeded to tell me the illness could be passed down to me as well. I wanted to get tested right away. My dad urged me to take it slow. When I got married the next year and found out we were expecting our first child, I knew in my heart I needed to know. On a crisp spring morning, I took the test. That’s when I realized it.”

- Jun 13, 2019

‘I found out I was pregnant one month after I turned 19 years old. ‘The second line is faint. You’re very early in your pregnancy,’ the nurse said. I had not even missed a period yet. Utterly shocked.’

“I tried to go on with life pretending nothing was wrong, while keeping this enormous secret, but ultimately couldn’t think about anything else. His birth was bittersweet. I held him, sobbing, as I signed away my rights as his mother.”

- Jun 13, 2019

‘Our life came to a halt. Our son was gravely ill. Looks can be deceiving. I tell him how guilty I am. His eyes become glassy. ‘I’m OK. I have a son,’ he says with a smile. I begin to sob.’

“As we pack up our belongings and head to the car, my husband can tell something is off. The moment we get into the car, I break down. We had been faced with the unimaginable. Two of our children passed away.”

- Jun 13, 2019

‘My husband tucked her in. She whispered something. I knew what was coming. I wrenched out of bed. I was a sleep-deprived new mom with an overworked husband and no family nearby.’

“I walked into the living room. Her proud, dancing eyes locked onto mine. She always cried. It became my mantra, whispered to myself on the darkest of days when I desperately needed a light at the end of the tunnel.”

- Jun 13, 2019

‘I was pale as a ghost. I had to wear a mask to see my son. Yet nothing was ‘officially’ wrong with me. ‘I love when you play games with me when you are healthy,’ he said. That crushed me.’

“I was almost positive I was having a stroke. Half my face became numb and I was unable to speak. I couldn’t breathe. I would sadly be forced to observe my son from a distance under my umbrella while he played in the ocean with others. I felt like I was watching his life pass from afar, and I couldn’t join in.”

- Jun 13, 2019

‘She was HIV+ and we knew she was our daughter. Time stopped when we saw her. She was absolutely beautiful and perfect, but her oversized clothes hung loosely on her tiny frail body.’

“We were looking for a child with HIV. When we learned she was positive, we KNEW she was the one. She was 2 years old and only weighed 15 pounds. I started seeing a trauma counselor. James learned how to breath in public again, knowing no one was coming after us. Then BAM – Morning sickness!”

- Jun 12, 2019

‘I got pregnant too early in my relationship. I went home on my lunch break, positive test in my pocket. I was terrified to hand it over to him, but knew I had to. What were we going to do?’

“I started feeling ‘off’. I burst into tears. Everyone insisted I was just anxious. All I could do was pray my blood pressure went down, and my placenta hung in there. 30 seconds into my scheduled ultrasound, my doctor told me she was taking me to the operating room.”

- Jun 12, 2019

‘My mom called, softly crying. ‘I took a lot of pills. I love you. It’s not your fault.’ I screamed into the phone, trying to keep her awake until the paramedics reached her.’

“Time slowed. She had just been laughing and joking on the way home. By the time I got to the hospital, she was nearly unrecognizable. Over the next 5 days, she went in and out of consciousness.”

- Jun 12, 2019

‘He should get his affairs in order.’ My heart stopped. WHAT? I immediately broke down. My biggest fear and worst nightmare had come true. ‘I don’t want to put you all through this,’ he said.’

“I was at home when I got a call from my husband. He was at the hospital, and then he said the 4 words I never expected to hear. ‘Okay, what now? What do we do?’ I was furiously texting my mother-in-law, ‘It’s not good.’ I just wanted it to stop. I couldn’t believe what was happening.”

- Jun 12, 2019