‘I’d stepped out of a 5-minute shower. ‘What are those purple things, mama?’ Her question stopped me in my tracks.’: Mom says ‘you’d never be the mother you are today without each tear in your roadmap’

“They were always something I had tried to hide. I tried my best to explain them to her curious 5-year-old heart. Her big, wet hug let me know that although her age only equaled the number of fingers on her tiny hands, she understood.”

‘The first thing I heard was, ‘If she survives, she’s losing all of her limbs.’ I let her go. I’d rather live a lifetime of pain than have her here selfishly.’: Mom says ‘I have never felt more like a mom than I do after losing Kinsley’

“I let her go. That all sounded like a pretty sh*tty existence, right? Then they proceeded to say she had a stroke. As I watched my daughter die, all I wanted was to trade places with her. I wanted to take the pain away. So, I let her go.”

‘The nurse said the word ‘fetal demise’ and my heart stopped. I was disgusted with myself. ‘If you leave, we’ll call it an Against Medical Advice Discharge.’: Mom births NICU warrior amid pandemic 

“They refused to allow my husband back upstairs after he got off work, saying my unit didn’t count as a maternity unit. He flipped out. I cried and hid in the dark for two days. I let my husband go. What kind of mother was I to put her life at risk? I finally understood what it meant to give up anything to keep my family safe.”

‘I wonder how this man could ever love me. The guilt of having a cleaning lady makes me feel like a pathetic human being.’: Mom struggling with anxiety says ‘you never know who is desperately kicking beneath the surface’

“If I wanted to impress a crowd, I could. I’ve got my ducky little life put together. At home, my children are laughing, my husband is eating a hot dinner, and the floor is tidy and clean. Right beneath the surface, hidden right before your eyes, is someone desperately trying to stay afloat.”

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