“No one appreciates your half-arsery, my dear ones. Get it done right the first time, and I’ll look less like a crazy person with smoke coming out of my ears. Doesn’t that sound good? You can do this. I have faith in you.”
- Love What Matters
- Family
“No one appreciates your half-arsery, my dear ones. Get it done right the first time, and I’ll look less like a crazy person with smoke coming out of my ears. Doesn’t that sound good? You can do this. I have faith in you.”
“I wrote the single hardest thing: ‘I don’t like being a parent.’ His meltdowns consist of screaming, hitting, throwing, breaking things, slamming doors, spitting, you name it. I have to restrain him. I poured my heart out, frustrated, at my wits end. Then I got a message. ‘I think your son has PANDAS/PANS. Have him tested.’ Then the warning came: Some people don’t believe in this diagnosis.”
“I don’t pick out school clothes anymore. There’s no one to nurse to sleep. I can’t remember the last time I cut up spaghetti, blew on soup because it was too hot. When they need socks now, they find them. And when they’re hungry? They grab their own snack. There were so many times I wished for these days. Now, I’m standing smack dab in the middle of them, grieving the past.”
“After I placed my muffin on the table, I noticed a pile of filthy, worn bags filled with her belongings. A large piece of folded cardboard peeked out from the top of the bag. Immediately after I sat down, she asked me a question. ‘Have you seen any phone books anywhere?’”
“I’m sorry I was a jerk. When the house is dark, I watch you breathe. I wonder if you know how much I love you.”
“5 hours after she was born, they needed life-flighted her to another hospital. ‘Your baby is breathing a hundred breaths per minute.’ I was numb. She stayed on oxygen for two months, but there was still no diagnosis. Her file read, ‘Unknown respiratory issues at birth.’ I felt hopeless for answers.”
“Immediately, the nurse midwife started asking me questions. ‘In the last 2 weeks, have you had thoughts of harming yourself or taking your own life most days, some days, or not at all?’ Me: ‘Most days.’ My throat became dry and tight. I couldn’t hide it anymore.”
“I’m seeing so many posts in groups saying, ‘My kid isn’t autistic, but we will carry the blue bucket too, so people won’t be rude to my child.’ And I want to admit something. My first initial reaction was: ‘Ok, so now people are taking an autism thing and making it about their non-autistic kid. WRONG.”
“I’d get dressed, only to realize my keys were gone from their usual spot. ‘Babe, I took them by accident,’ he’d tell me. My husband had his cellphone number programmed to receive all the notifications when visitors buzzed our apartment. No one could visit me. At 7 months pregnant, I rushed into my closet. I was in the fetal position cradling my stomach. I whispered to my baby, ‘Mommy will always protect you. We’re going to be okay.’ ‘Get out of there immediately,’ my cousin told me.”
“Sure, my boys got a bad grade. Or two. But kindness is more important than the honor roll will EVER be.”