“While Carl was out of town, I called him, but I don’t even remember. I knew I’d scared him. He’d felt helpless thousands of miles away while I was home with the kids. For the first time ever, I felt selfish.”
‘Daddy, why does mommy sleep all the time now?’ Things I swore I’d never do, I started doing. ‘Mommy, you asked us the same questions three times!’ My husband begged me.’
‘He crept in my room when my mother was working. My stepdad said she wanted me to do ‘those things’ to make him happy in her absence. I was afraid. I could trust no one.’
“I was told I was ‘Pretty for a big girl.’ Because I was overweight, I thought that would keep me safe. If I stayed fat, no one would want to touch me. My grandparents would ask me questions. Of course I denied it.”
‘My innocence was taken by a 19-year-old. We jumped into a ‘relationship.’ I let him take me into bed because ‘My innocence was already taken. Why did I need to pretend like I had it?’
“I felt like I was important and loved. A few months later, my mom took me to the doctor. I was pregnant, at 15 years old. He hit me in the back of my head multiple times but he took me to Taco Bell after, so he still loved me. Where else would I go anyway?”
‘If you EVER speak out, I know where the bullets are.’ I walked in the snow for miles in short sleeves. I woke up in the hospital, angry I survived, and pulled out all the hospital tubes.’
“I looked up from my bed and saw my mother and sister at the door. The look in their eyes is something I never want to see again. I feared that I had to be cured. I wish I had seen the warning signs.’
‘If you do that one more time, you’re going in TIME OUT.’ As soon as that door shut, she ran over to the couch. I thought, ‘Please get down. Don’t you know I’m the fun parent?! I do books, not time out!’
“Being a stepmom is so complicated. She’d only ask her dad for things. But then, hand-foot-and-mouth disease struck our house. My husband was down for the count – which left my stepdaughter completely reliant on me. Let the games begin.”
‘She was severely malnourished. ‘We don’t expect her to live very long in the orphanage.’ I was in it for the long haul.’: Woman adopts orphan into her forever family, ‘She became mine and I became hers’
“I knew the dangers of short-term volunteers going into orphanages and getting attached. ‘She won’t let anyone play with her. She’s very stubborn.’ But I was stubborn too. Our doctor took off his glasses and looked me in the eyes. ‘Have you considered pursuing custody?’ I felt the weight of his words. I was young. Really young.”
‘Your future husband is 2 years old. Will he tell me, ‘Mom, she’s the one!’? It’s hard to believe my place as his mother will be eclipsed by your place as his wife.’
“I will recognize my son’s loyalty is first to you. I will refrain from gossiping about you to family members. I will not harbor a grudge if you tell me, ‘I’m sorry, but we just can’t make that work right now.'”
‘Our child dumped his piggy bank onto his bed. He’s having a Mardi Gras moment, hurling coins like beaded necklaces. ‘You can’t jump off the top bunk!,’ he tells our daughter.’
“I crack open a tired eyelid to see it’s not even 6 a.m. The rain beating down on our roof is drowned out by the billowing coming from our kids’ room. I lose my cool. It’s been under an hour of complete chaos. This is when my husband and I shift from relying on each other, to turning on each other.”
‘Can you drop me at my relative’s house?’ I kissed him goodbye, bawling. Something didn’t feel right.’: Young mom recounts harrowing journey to single motherhood, ‘I’m my son’s world, and he is mine’
“He was so insistent on going. I thought I was just being paranoid. ‘What did I do wrong? What did I do?’ I didn’t eat. I didn’t sleep. At this point, I was heavily pregnant. Then, I got news from his family there were absolutely no relatives in the area I dropped him off. It was another woman’s house. I didn’t trust my gut. Just like that, he stopped calling and texting. He fell off the face of the planet.”
‘My dad told us, ‘Make someone’s day better.’ I watched him take his last breath. ‘Just because he couldn’t receive my kidney, doesn’t mean somebody else shouldn’t.’ This is for you, dad.’
“I was nervous and excited the morning of the surgery. This was finally happening! We could feel my dad’s presence in the room. We each donated to a stranger, for him.”