“Because that’s exactly what I said, too.”
‘Someday, I’ll tell her. When she can’t muster more than a grimace in my direction, when she pulls away at the mere mention of a hug, when she rolls her eyes, I’ll tell her.’
‘Mom, do you think if you and dad would have had the first 2 babies, you would still have us?’ Tears stung the back of my eyes. This question feels heavy to me.’
“My children don’t even know we lost a third baby, our sixth pregnancy, last year in August. As I say these words to them, for the first time in over a year, I feel something new in my heart: peace.”
‘I asked the store manager who turned it in, they said it was Anthony. I went to bless him with $100. I also called his mom to tell her what a great job she was doing with her son.’
“His mom cried tears of joy.”
‘Today is not about what you’ve been through in the past and it’s not about what you may go through in the future. Today is only about today, Finn.’
“I turned to Michael and we were both sobbing, and for some reason, it occurred to me for a second that it seemed really quiet for Disney World. As we turned our heads to the massive line behind us, the entire mass was smiling and wiping tears.”
‘Doctors said my surgery would be smooth, and all would go well. To my surprise, I woke up in the ICU with tubes coming out of me, double vision, and not able to walk.’
“In an instant, my whole world came crashing down. I knew I needed to call my mom. I had no idea how to break the news to her though. That’s a parent’s worst nightmare.”
‘Dear white moms, what I need you to know…’
“You are my friends. You are my sisters. We are the same in more ways than we are different, but there are a few things I need you to know.”
‘How to survive when your children won’t go the f*** to sleep.’
Step 7. Don’t close your eyes to make your baby close theirs. I promise they’re still open.
‘Before the doctor came in he started telling us about drinking prune juice. He started laughing as he tells us he drank 3 glasses of it, and it worked. We started laughing – loudly.’
“I realized it was a sound we hadn’t heard for a very long time. For a moment, our world was normal.”
‘You are not their only parent. You co-parent with addicts, who have harmed, forgotten and neglected these kiddos. I have had children years before learning their middle names.’
“You have unannounced visits where they look in your cupboards and question your mountain of laundry. They are quick to judge the dishes in your sink and the fact you forgot to lock up the medicine. I’m under scrutiny.”
‘The control, manipulation and deceit were hard to recognize, but when it became clear, it was devastating. She said to me, ‘Nobody will ever believe you.”
“I was angry. I really believed she was doing everything she was because she cared about me.”
