‘We are having a closed adoption. She will not steal my baby!’ Then, our lives were suddenly intertwined.’: Mom ‘gains a sister’ through open adoption, ‘We get to walk this together’
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‘We are having a closed adoption. She will not steal my baby!’ Then, our lives were suddenly intertwined.’: Mom ‘gains a sister’ through open adoption, ‘We get to walk this together’
“My girlfriend of 3 years finally left me. After all the hurt and pain I’d caused, she finally walked out the door. I jumped in my car and sped down to Walmart. I needed a gun. My brain went back to panic mode. I got in my car and just started driving. My ex had called the cops.”
“Most of us are going out of our minds trying to decide what to do in the fall, if we have a choice, which it sounds like we will. Damned if we do, damned if we don’t. That’s how I feel.”
“I had one pregnancy test in my drawer and decided to bite the bullet. I watched it load and I could not take my eyes off of it for one second. After 3 minutes, the words appeared… ‘pregnant.’ My heart stopped. I got in my car and made the 10-minute drive to my ex’s house. I just wanted to get to him and hug him. I was carrying his child.”
“My neck was a little sore as if I’d slept on it weird. Within seconds, it felt like someone spun me 180 degrees. I couldn’t move my arms or legs. ‘Why are you on the floor? Are you drunk?’ All she could see was her baby sister struggling.”
“Living in the thick of the fire, my tribe was there to hold my hand as I walked through. I found myself sitting on a doctor’s couch the following Tuesday, sobbing tears of grief and agony. They helped me make sense of the madness and encouraged me to feel again.”
“I knew parenthood would be full of stress, but not like this. Hayden’s conditions were so rare, he didn’t fit into any box we could find. We couldn’t even find the questions to ask. I watched as all the other new moms got to have normal kids without a care in the world.”
“It was my default to smile, nod, and be in agreement. It was my default to shrink myself so others could feel better about themselves. It was my default to dim my light because others felt I was too bright. As I got older, I started to question, ‘Why am I wasting my precious time and energy on people I don’t even vibe with?'”
“It was the Friday before Memorial Day when things really began to fall apart. I remember being at church during a prayer meeting and saying aloud, ‘This is a dark place.’ I started quoting scripture he never realized I had memorized. No one seemed too concerned.”
“They sent someone to ‘keep an eye on me’ so I didn’t report it. All my medical documentation was suddenly ‘lost.’ I was laughed at and called a liar.”