‘I felt it was ‘easier’ to blend in. It sucked all my energy. I became so used to seeking approval, I didn’t realize I was losing myself.’: Woman urges ‘it’s okay to not be everyone’s cup of tea’

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“For a long time I felt it was ‘easier’ to blend in with everyone around me. When in fact, it sucked all my energy. I became so accustomed in seeking approval from others, I didn’t realize I was losing myself.

My younger self felt it was more important to find self-acceptance through others liking me instead of finding acceptance in being true to who I am.

It was my default to smile, nod, and be in agreement even if I felt otherwise.

It was my default to shrink myself so that others could feel better about themselves.

It was my default to dim my light because others felt I was too bright.

As I got older, I started to question, ‘Why am I even wasting my precious time and energy trying to converse with people I don’t even vibe with?’

Especially now that I’m a Mom, so much of my time and energy is already given to my kids. If I have anything left in me, I’d rather be with people who reflect my inner being and fuel me rather than drain me.

It took a while for me to get this. It took a lot of courage for me to walk away from the need to be liked by others.

After realizing it’s okay that I’m not everybody’s cup of tea, I’ve also realized it’s a hell of a lot easier to just be myself.

I’d much rather accept that some people may not vibe with me rather than look for acceptance in those who aren’t in alignment with me.

The biggest takeaway from this long journey of self love and acceptance is:

Be kind to everyone, but it doesn’t mean you have to be friends with everyone.

I’m writing this to those who find it’s hard to be your true self around others. Letting go of the need to be accepted by everyone can be a challenge to re-wire.

It’ll take time and practice in setting boundaries as well as getting clear with who your true friends are.

Once you get to your destination of accepting your real self, you’ll never be the same.

To be BOLD is to be BEAUTIFUL.



Courtesy of Luci Chen

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Luci Chen of Live Laugh Luci. You can follow her journey on Facebook. Submit your own story here and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.

Read more stories like this:

‘I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. I’m too loud, too quiet. We try so hard to bend 50 different ways to fit a mold, but why? For what?’: Woman learns to accept herself as is

‘You’re the girl without a tribe. You, my dear, are not broken. People just don’t know how wonderful you are yet.’: Woman urges ‘whatever girl you are, you are not alone’

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