“I wasn’t prepared for this. I was so caught off guard, I probably looked like a deer in headlights.”
‘I went to a play date at someone’s house. Almost the moment I stepped through the front door, the mom giggled, ‘Mimosa time!’ and my body froze up.’
‘I received a random card with a note. ‘I pray for you every day.’ My job is very hard to do. People don’t understand that. Special education is a totally different ball game.’
“My students come into the classroom yelling, hitting, kicking, and screaming. Many people assume we do the work for our kids because they think they can’t do it themselves. Not everyone is cut out for this kind of classroom.”
‘I went into my son’s room to wake him. I could sense something wasn’t right. I remember the pallor of his face as I turned him over. Grey. Porcelain.’
“I screamed my husband’s name. ‘His stomach is warm!,’ I said out loud. I fell over my baby’s body. Air escaped his throat in a tiny wheeze that sounds like a coo. ‘He made a noise!’ Their faces fell. ‘It’s from the CPR.’ ‘It happens.’ They were trying not to fall apart.”
‘There I was, crying over my newborn daughter, looking at my husband’s arm around another woman. I begged him to talk to me in person. He never called, never texted. My world flipped.’
“I had done everything right. The last 4 years were wiped away without reason. My mind kept replaying every situation over and over again. Not only was I going to school, working, and dealing with my parents’ divorce, but I was now about to be a single mom. I prayed for a sign I’d be okay.”
‘If I was so miserable, I should leave.’ Eventually, I did. Our marriage looked perfect on social media. We always believed in keeping our issues private.’
“Our wedding day was intimate. But behind the façade were underlying issues that left a bad taste in my mouth. I was put on the back burner. I was failing him because he was expecting me to prepare a home-cooked meal every day while also juggling maintaining a home and breastfeeding our son.”
‘I love you, sweetie. I’ll call you Friday.’ Those words will forever haunt me. I received a call from my mom when school ended. ‘This is the hardest thing I’ll ever tell you.’ I fell to the floor.’
“My heart sank. I could tell by her voice I had to get home. I still hear the words as she fought back breaking down. ‘We have to go. We have to get there!’ I remember having thought, ‘He seems better. He seems more like himself.’ My dad was back. Boy, was I wrong.”
‘I have something I need to tell you.’ He was rubbing his hands together nervously. I looked him in the eyes, and said, ‘You can tell me anything.’ My brain couldn’t process it.’
“I sat back in my seat and thought I must have misheard him. I said, ‘Oh, but you’re fine, right?’ As if you are ever fine after this diagnosis. ‘No.’ He drew back and smiled the biggest, most beautiful smile. He knew. We both knew.”
‘I wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell him I was pregnant. I found out he had been cheating. Just 3 months before, he learned he had a son from a previous relationship. I was a fool.’
“When the doctors delivered him, I didn’t cry with joy, I didn’t ask to see him. I guess I must have dozed off for a second, and he rolled off my chest and hit the side rail. Most moms would have freaked out. My thought was, ‘Oh well.'”
‘Since my divorce, I’ve seen a plastic surgeon every month. Not for Botox. I had to face what I’d done with every shower, every decision to wear short sleeves or a bathing suit.’
“I had surprised my family with it. My husband told me he loved what I’d done to myself, but what he didn’t tell me was that he was having an affair. I often wonder what he must’ve felt when he saw his name on my wrist and knew he was lying.”
‘If you were to die today, what would happen to your girls?’ I was in a crumbling marriage to an unfaithful spouse, a stressful job and had just been recently diagnosed. My world was ending.’
“I started having severe chest pains. My soon to be ex-husband was determined to make my life a living nightmare. He stopped getting the girls from school, was coming and going from the house at all hours of the night. He treated our home like a roadside motel.”
