“Jon and I met on an online dating website and hit it off right away. When I flew to Louisiana to visit him for the first time, we both knew. This was it. As I delved into wedding details, I was plagued by lower back pain that wouldn’t go away.”
‘I was petrified, sobbing into Jon’s shoulder. He leaned over and held my hand. If he wanted to leave the relationship, I would understand.’
‘In broken English he said, ‘I have a daughter. I don’t want to hurt you, but I need to please myself. Don’t scream because the police won’t help you. If you are good, I won’t hurt you.’
“I got back to the car, it was gone. I had absolutely no clue where I was. I just wanted to sleep. Then, I heard him lock the door.”
‘His little voice begged me to wake up. ‘Don’t die, mommy. Don’t die, mommy.’ His hug, his kiss and his tenderness, lying next to me for hours as I sobbed.’
“Another fight left me to sleep in the guest room. My middle child, my baby boy, crawled into bed with me as my head throbbed and I couldn’t’ stop the room from spinning. Again. My loudest rock bottom came like a whisper – It was his touch.”
‘Then Rob messaged me. And everything changed. We decided to go out on a date. For the next few weeks, Rob and I were each other’s world. Or so I thought.’
“We stayed at his parents’ house several times, but never his. I began to suspect Rob had a wife or a girlfriend, and that’s why we never went to his place. He always had an excuse, and I always believed him. Then one night, he told me he had something to tell me.”
‘We got THE CALL. ‘Would you be willing to accept a 3-month-old baby with serious medical needs?’ Our girl had endured more in those first 3 months than most do in a lifetime.’
“The thought of leaving her at school left me breathless. Would her teacher know what she needed? What if she was sad? Would she be scared? Made fun of by other kids for the ‘funny way’ she spoke? While our love and commitment to her never wavered for a second, it was earth shattering to hear.”
‘Megan silently handed me the letter. ‘I heard urine need of a kidney.’ My immediate thought was YEAH! I opened it and read, ‘Want Mine?’ WOW. I mean WOW.’
“She was my work wife. Our #1 goal was to go home safe every night. It said, ‘Turns out we are a perfect match. Not only on the job, but in blood and organs too. You always had my back on the road and off, now you can have my kidney.’ REALLY?!”
‘Mothers don’t shower often. Especially new mothers. When we say this stuff, we are met with horror. But it is the truth.’
“I remember finally getting the energy to shower, a place where I’d feel so tired that I’d read the shower bottles and stare into space while the water hit my back. I was a zombie. My husband came in and said, ‘It’s time to feed him,’ and I cried.”
‘He’s a sick guy.’ The pediatric cardiologist affirmed with an almost flippancy. Like, you know, yeah he’s dying, but like, he’s sick. Of course he’s dying. He’s a sick guy.’
“When my high school sweetheart and I decided to grow our family, we had no clue the battles we’d face. We’d had fairly smooth, straightforward lives up to this point. After my miscarriage of identical twins, I thought for sure we’d paid our dues.”
‘Just stay down there, I’ll step over you’. A flippant comment by one of the mothers at swim lessons. I was trying to get to the pool on my bottom, guiding my son. I let her by, but it pushed me further into darkness.’
“I had an accident on a trampoline and broke my leg. Initially I saw it as a small set back and would be back in no time. I’d just gotten married 10 weeks before. The plan was to have children soon, so I wanted to recover as quickly as I could. Unfortunately, that was not the case.”
‘We didn’t talk enough, did we?’ My Dad would never walk me down the aisle or meet my children. That’s a very odd thing to discuss with your father when you’re only 23.’
“Having no family, no money and no home after believing your life was completely normal and well adjusted for 23 years can warp your entire view of life. I spent a large amount of time after the incident questioning what was reality.”
