“You are a child of the COVID pandemic. When we wake you up from your crib, you look at us with such electric excitement that it is impossible not to start each day with love. You have shown us how to surrender to stillness, to stand together through fear, and to see the beauty in every moment. You are our reason to play and dance and keep smiling.”
“During the day, she was completely normal. But at night she would pull out her hair and headbutt her bedroom wall in her sleep, begging me to ‘make it stop.’ She was deteriorating. I had to fight for answers. I had to beg for care for my very complex child. My gut was telling me something was being missed.”
“My dad walked out of my life when I was 20 and never looked back. I wonder if you saw me in the street, would wave or just keep walking. See, all of my favorite things about myself are you. Your sense of humor, your ability to make friends, and really, really good hair. I call someone else ‘my dad’ now.”
“Waiting for Riley to ‘tell’ me he loves me. Waiting for him to say mommy. Waiting for him to speak. How I wished I could get a moment in his head. When in reality what I really needed to do is take a step back and see was he showed me love in ways that don’t need words.”
“I was sound asleep when I suddenly hear a knock at my bedroom door. My heart jumps. The pounding in my chest gets louder. Both children are standing at the door, both upset. ‘It’s 2:30 in the morning,’ I firmly reminded them. I am trying to figure out how I can self-isolate in my closet, but they keep finding me.”
“If they spend their days on iPads while you gather your thoughts, it’s okay. If you wanna sit in your pajamas, eat brownies, and watch Frozen 2 on repeat all day, that’s OKAY. If the house looks like a bomb site, who gives a crap. Really. No one is going to visit you anyway.”
“One week of air hugs through Facetime. One more week ahead of wondering if this will be the week we’ll run out of PPE completely. One more week ahead of uncertainty, of masking up and walking into the unknown. We will come out on the other side.”
“Don’t let your kids outside. Don’t leave them home if you go out. Give them fresh air. Keep them home. Is that a cough? Is the tightness in your chest anxiety or the virus? Just breathe. But don’t be irresponsible. That’s not sickness that’s your fear. It’s okay, we’re all stressed. Treat yourself to some junk food. Not too much. You need to keep your immune system up.”
“I head into the shower and visciously scrub my skin until my eczema flares up to match the raw, peeling skin behind my ears from wearing masks all day. I sleep alone, without my special someone. I park my car in crevices to power nap on a makeshift foam mattress in the back of my trunk after a 12-hour shift to head right into another 8-hour shift. I will continue to fight, no matter the obstacles.”
“This is the face of someone who feels punished for trying to be the ‘good guy.’ My job as an ER nurse is just that, my job. This is my current situation.”
