“I made the decision not to see and hold Jensen. It’s one of my biggest regrets I’ll ever have in my life. Honestly, I didn’t know how I could do it. I didn’t realize the permanence of him being really gone. Instead, I asked for a lock of his hair, and for them to take pictures of him. I wish I could go back to that moment, spend time kissing him. I wish I could’ve whispered in his ear, ‘I love you.’”
“The light flashed green. I looked both ways and saw a black Jeep heading towards me. I assumed it would slow down. Why wouldn’t it? It did not. Instead, it slammed right into the back-right door. My baby didn’t scream. She didn’t even have time. All I heard was a big, deep gasp. Then, silence. Red and blue lights.”
“Something happened today that gave me chills. To be honest, I’m still trying to take it in. As we were walking back to the car, I spotted this area. ‘This would be the perfect spot to take a photo.’ It looked like the secret garden my grandmother loved. This photo was taken in 100% shade, no sun.”
“I was blacked out. I was apparently dancing on the bar and fell off, head-first. My poor roommate called the ambulance because she was scared to let me fall asleep with a concussion. I convinced myself I ‘deserved’ a night out. I woke up with a swollen face and bloody cuts. I got kicked out of my sorority. I was more than just a ‘party girl.’ I had issues. Really, this was just the beginning.”
“My husband and I were no longer together. I was drinking every day. A police man stepped out of his vehicle. I could hear his shoes crunching leaves as he walked over to me. He got down to my level and said, ‘Do you need me to take you to the hospital?’ I couldn’t find words. Shame washed over me. I nodded yes.”
“‘The doctors said the chemo will mean I won’t ever have kids. I know how bad you want to be a dad. Don’t do this.’ ‘NO!’ I said. I planned the wedding for 2 days later. She’d been looking for a dress. Each bride had their wedding day on a name tag they wore. Melissa’s said ‘TODAY.’ Some were confused. Moments later, her eyes lit up. This gown, like Cinderella’s, would need no alteration. 10 months after our wedding day, she gave me the gift. ‘I love you, and I promise to learn to love whoever you choose after me.’”
“The doctor looked me square in the eye. ‘Brain tumor.’ WHAT?! I looked at my baby playing with Tonka trucks. ‘I’m sorry, but I think we both knew it.’ WHAT? Are you freaking kidding? No, I didn’t! I sat in the pre-op area signing consent forms. I wrote in large letters, ‘NO STUDENT OR RESIDENT IS TO TOUCH HIM.’ Never again was I going to just accept what a doctor said without question.”
“All weekend long I’ve followed the story of Noah, the little boy that was hit by a car while trick or treating. Just days ago, he was dressed for Halloween, trick or treating with friends. Now he is gone. Today, I’m sure his mom would give anything for him to brush his teeth, and forget to rinse the sink.”
“I start going through the bag he left at my house. I find everything. All his empty capsules, his spoons, his syringes. I realize he disposes the heroin capsules in cigarette boxes. There is so much. I feel like I can’t breathe. The tears fall as the images hit me in the face. My son. My son is a heroin addict. Knowing it and seeing it are completely different things. I’m not the same mom I was yesterday.”
“After a 6-day bender with literally no sleep, I took my last hit and swallowed a gram of molly. It ended up being bath salts. My poor mom didn’t hesitate to answer my call. Sobbing, I kept telling her to be quiet. I was homeless, starving, and had walked away from my children. The SWAT team was never there. It was all in my head. I have absolutely no idea who that girl was.”
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